<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Aftermath by comfortwriter28</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24445444">Aftermath</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/comfortwriter28/pseuds/comfortwriter28'>comfortwriter28</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Call AU [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>13 Reasons Why (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:53:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>31,151</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24445444</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/comfortwriter28/pseuds/comfortwriter28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Following the events at Jess's party, Justin feels his life spiral out of control between the guilt over what happened, Bryce's passive aggressive comments, and hundreds of mysterious texts from an unknown number who seems to know what he did.</p><p>Clay's dealing with Jeff's accident and the very real brush with death one of his best friends had. It takes Zach to point out there might be something even more wrong going on much closer to him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Call AU [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1486958</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>104</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Monday Blues</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Clay slumps down mopily into a seat in the cafeteria. It’s been two days since Jeff ended up in the hospital after the accident. The news papers said something about a drunk driver but Jeff, stupid Jeff, wasn’t wearing his seatbelt. He woke up yesterday for the first time, the doctors said he was doing good. The day after it happened, he sat with Mr. and Mrs. Atkins in the waiting room for a few hours, his plan had been to make them feel better but he thinks they helped him more and he feels terrible about it. He was allowed in to see Jeff one time, before he woke up. It was-awful. As bad as seeing Justin in there but he isn’t going to make the same mistake again and not go to see him. He’s angry at Jeff for not wearing a seatbelt, but he'd rather be there when Jeff is up to give him the lecture of a lifetime rather than stew in his own anger.</p>
<p>Zach takes the seat opposite of him and he wants to say something, it’s clear on his face but Clay doesn’t really want a conversation right now so he doesn’t initiate.</p>
<p>After a few moments Zach says, “Clay? Can we-can we talk?”</p>
<p>“We are.” He knows he’s being surly but Zach’ll forgive him.</p>
<p>“Right. Um, has Justin seemed off to you the past few days?”</p>
<p>“No, why?”</p>
<p>Zach gives him a weird look and replies hesitantly, “Well, Jess and I were talking, she seems a bit off too actually, anyway he’s been out of it since Monday. Sort of in his own world most of the time. We were wondering if he was the same at home?”</p>
<p>Clay thinks about it and then shrugs. “I haven’t noticed but I think he’s been quieter, he was with you most of the weekend though.”</p>
<p>Zach frowns. “No he wasn’t.”</p>
<p>“Really? Dad said he stayed over your place the night of the party and then went out to meet you for basketball on Sunday.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t see him at all over the weekend.”</p>
<p>Clay frowns. Zach wasn’t at the party actually. It’s weird for Justin to lie though, he doesn’t do it much. Mom’s too good at catching them anyway but in general Justin still seems to think he may get thrown out if he causes too many problems. And actually...he hasn’t been sleeping with him. He doesn’t every night anyway, just bad ones but he hasn’t been able to sleep much and he’s thought Justin has been up too but the other boy hasn’t come to join him.</p>
<p>“What does Jess think about all this? He was with her for most of the party, I saw them together so I’m sure of that.”</p>
<p>Zach shugs unhappily. “She’s confused. She thought he might try to stay the night cause they planned on that but she fell asleep when they went up to her room and assumed he just left. She said she texted him the next day but he didn’t reply until late and she assumed he had been busy with family things but you said he wasn’t home.”</p>
<p>“Well if he wasn’t with either of us or Jess maybe he was with Bryce? I guess he could also have been with Tony. I can ask him. I’m not talking to Bryce.”</p>
<p>Zach frowns and then says hesitantly, “Why not just ask Justin?”</p>
<p>He blinks and then says, “Why don’t you ask him?”</p>
<p>Zach rolls his eyes before replying, “You’re his brother Clay, he’s more likely to tell you some stuff than me or Jess. Just try, ask him if somethings up and pay attention, you know what he’s like when he’s upset and you spend more time with him than us.”</p>
<p>“Alright. I’ll see about tonight and let you know tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Zach looks relieved and for the rest of lunch they shift to talking about other things. It’s always awkward because even though he likes Zach enough; conversation between them without Justin present almost always revolve around talking about Justin because he’s really all they have in common and since right now he’s what they’re trying to avoid talking about, it’s hard.</p>
<p>When he’s home later he does keep an ear out but he hears...nothing. That’s actually kind of concerning, Justin’s usually talking to Mom or Dad if they’re home, watching TV in the living room, playing a videogame in their room, listening to music and usually singing out loud with no shame, any one of a dozen activities that makes him easy to find if Clay listens a little. Actually it’s better than when he first started living with them and he tried to make as little noise as possible to ‘avoid disturbing’ them but Clay gives him a hard time about it once in a while cause Justin is incapable of sitting still and being quiet most of the time.</p>
<p>Strangely though he has to actually search for him today and finally finds him sitting out in the back doing exactly that. He’s silent and not moving, just looking at the sky and it’s sort of weird and not entirely pleasant now even though Clay will admit he’s hoped for a few minutes of peace here and there of Justin doing exactly this. The problem is the sad air that seems to hang around him. It’s enough to convince Clay he has to do something and so he sucks in a deep breath and sits down.</p>
<p>“You good?”</p>
<p>Justin shakes himself out of his thoughts and smiles. “Yea, why wouldn’t I be?”</p>
<p>Innocent enough, he’s not sure he believes it.</p>
<p>“You’ve been weird lately and I thought maybe you want to talk about something.”</p>
<p>He laughs but Clay’s sure he’s not imaging that it sounds strained. “C’mon I’m not being weird, you’re just paranoid.”</p>
<p>“Zach and Jess agree with me.”</p>
<p>Jess had been difficult to get anything out of, she had been busy with some girls from HO and had been distracted, then again one of the other girls there had tried to chase him off too, apparently annoyed with a boy hanging around, and obviously that hadn’t helped. Eventually he had pulled Jess into the hall and finally gotten her thoughts on Justin’s behavior and they were pretty much what he expected, Justin didn’t seem quite right, he politely hadn’t commented the same seemed to be true of her.</p>
<p>The smile falters, visibly. </p>
<p>“Did they say why they think I’m being weird?”</p>
<p>“Zach said you’ve been quiet and not eating much and Jess says you haven’t been as-romantic as usual.” Actually she had implied something more like not as sexy but also not as sensitive and sweet as usual, romantic seems like a good compromise between those descriptions.</p>
<p>Justin’s now kind of stiff as he says, “It’s fine Clay, Jess and I are having a bit of a rough patch and Zach is a great guy but he’s as paranoid as you.”</p>
<p>“Right, but if there was something, you’d tell me?”</p>
<p>“You’d be the first to know.”</p>
<p>He isn’t getting anywhere so he leaves it. He does pay attention at dinner and Justin eats a normal amount for another human but it seems like a pitiful portion for him. Worse he seems to be forcing himself to eat even that much, Clay suspects in an effort to allay his suspicions. Mom and Dad fill the role of ideal chatter throughout the meal and that seems wrong too.</p>
<p>After the meal he and Justin end up in their room and he turns on a game, they’re working their way through <i>Twilight Princess</i> and he hopes to entice Justin into playing. It almost always loosens his tongue even when he’s stubbornly refusing to talk about something otherwise, not that it happens very often but he spent hours one of the last days of summer trying to get Justin to tell him what was wrong but in the end the only thing that succeeded in getting answers was turning on the console and letting Justin decide how to tell him. Clay won’t deny then he felt a little let down, all of Justin’s moping was over the end of summer and nothing deeper and darker even though Dad mentioned he came in that day covered in ketchup and looking sad.</p>
<p>Anyway tonight when he turns it on, Justin wanders over and flops down on the couch behind him but doesn't play, he just watches and occasionally backseat drives. He doesn’t even call Link Zelda like he usually does to bother Clay but he does still offer his colorful commentary, “If you can’t jump the gap, just carry a bomb with you, you can use it blowing up to knock you onto the other side of the canyon.” “She’s creepy and you shouldn’t collect bugs for her, especially not if she wants to dress them up and make them go to a dance.” “Listen I’ll put up with the fishy people cause the mom is one hell of a woman but the armless snowman is not okay.” Somehow it lacks it’s usual force.</p>
<p>He lays awake at night thinking about it. Justin does seem off. He wonders how long it’s been going on, Zach said since Monday but Clay didn’t really see a lot of him after the party, maybe he was weird before that? There’s also the bit about him lying that he’s not sure how to confront him about. He doesn’t think Justin sleeps much that night either but he also doesn’t come over. Clay wonders if he should go to Justin but decides against it because that isn’t how this works. At this point Justin knows if he wants to come over, he’s welcome to and doesn’t need an invitation, if he’s staying away, maybe he has a reason for it. Clay can’t really think of one but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there.</p>
<p>He meets Zach the next morning, he tries to get Jess but she was busy, and they talk. He leaves out a few details about sleeping arrangements but Zach hears the rest and they agree somethings up. Unfortunately, there isn’t much they can do without knowing what is wrong and in the end agree for now to try to monitor him and see if it solves itself or they can figure out how to help. It feels hollow but neither can come up with better options. </p>
<p>He does go and talk to Tony, it’s sort of a long shot cause usually if Tony is with Justin he’s there too but he can’t think of anything else.</p>
<p>Finding Tony isn’t too hard, after the final bell he goes out to the parking lot and waits by his car for him. Tony sees him and says mildly, “If you wanted a ride you could have texted.”</p>
<p>“Do you think Justin is being weird?”</p>
<p>Tony looks from unlocking the car and says dryly. “Nice to see you too Clay. I’m glad our first conversation today could start like this.”</p>
<p>He snorts. “You’re not annoyed. Now have you?”</p>
<p>“Clay I like Justin but he is weird. You’ll have to narrow it down.”</p>
<p>“Like he’s been quiet and out of it.”</p>
<p>“I imagine even Justin gets tired once in a while. Being constantly upbeat and positive must be draining for anyone. Just give him time. Now, do you want a ride?”</p>
<p>Sighing he gets in, not liking the sound of any of this, he wants to be able to fix this now, not leave it alone for it to fester. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem like he has much choice and gets in.</p>
<p>As Tony’s dropping him off he remembers the other thing he was supposed to ask, a long shot if any since if something’s wrong with Justin, it’s cause he was with Bryce not Tony. </p>
<p>“Did you see Justin this weekend? Like Saturday night and on?”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“Well he told Dad he was with Zach but he wasn’t, and he wasn’t with Jess either so I thought I’d ask you.”</p>
<p>“He wasn’t with me.”</p>
<p>He heaves a heavy sigh, not like he was expecting different. Maybe Zach should ask Bryce. He doesn’t really trust anything the bastard says on principle but maybe he’ll be more honest with Zach. He says goodbye, if only to avoid another ‘manners with Tony’ lesson and heads into the quiet house, at least he knows at the moment it’s cause he’s alone in it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Texts in the Dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The week following Jess's party might be the worst of his life. Between Bryce, a mysterious harasser, and the guilt of what's happened, he's not sure he sees any way out.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Justin feels his phone vibrate against his leg again and as if on cue, bile burns in the back of his throat. For the past few days he’s been getting texts from a number he doesn't know but the person clearly knows him, and worse, they know what happened at the party. He has no idea how, all of his replies have gone ignored, and the sender hasn’t given a reason for any of this.</p>
<p>He slides his phone out of his pocket, even though Mr. Alburn will probably catch him, as it buzzes again and looks. Yep, same number. It’s local, same area code as most of the town, but he doesn’t know who it’s from. He opens it.</p>
<p>
  <i>she loves you and you did this to her</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>how do you sleep at night knowing what youre responsible for</i>
</p>
<p>Not new but it still hurts and truthfully, he hasn’t been sleeping. An hour or two each night maybe but ironically, the night it happened was the best rest he’s had since. His body must have been so tired it just knocked out. Since then sleep hasn’t come easy and he- Clay only a few feet away has always been a highlight of his room at the Jensens. Having another person there makes him feel safer and when the comfort of another body in the room isn’t enough, Clay usually doesn’t mind if he climbs into bed with him.</p>
<p>His problem is that the past few nights even the thought of being that close to someone has sent shivers down his spine. And it’s stupid cause it’s Clay and Clay would never-except that Bryce did. But no, Clay is different from Bryce, he’s sure of it. He’s also sure Zach and Tony are and yet he just can’t relax around them, any of them. Clay’s been preoccupied, as sick as it sounds Jeff’s accident has given him an excuse to not be himself, but Zach’s taken notice and he’s outright avoided Tony since that first night because the other boy has a way of getting to the heart of a matter that he doesn't think he can handle right now.</p>
<p>
  <i>youre bad for her and everyone else<i></i></i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i><br/>	</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>“Phone away Justin, or it’s mine.”</p>
<p>He slides it back in and just manages to keep his head for falling onto his desk. He wants to sleep. Actually no, he doesn’t. Sleeping means dreaming and those have all been bad lately. Nightmares like the ones he had the night it happened now mingle with new distorted images that terrify him in sleep but that he can’t remember when he wakes up which might be a blessing. No, he doesn’t want to go to sleep, maybe he just wants to not exist, to just stop <i>being</i> completely. That seems like the only way the pain ends.</p>
<p>But no, he doesn’t want to do that because Jess-she doesn’t know, she texted him the day after it happened but she didn’t say anything that suggested she did. Still as much as he can’t be around her, for different reasons than the ones he can’t be around Clay and Zach for, he can’t just leave her. He did this to her, even if she doesn’t know, can’t know for so many reasons. He needs to be around to buffer too, Bryce has been-after it happened he’s brought her up in conversation. It sounds casual to everyone else but he doesn’t trust the older boy.</p>
<p>“Justin, perhaps a trip to the office would clear your head?”</p>
<p>He looks up but forces a smile at Mr. Alburn. “No need, my head’s clear.” The last thing he needs is Lainie getting a phone call about him this early in the year.</p>
<p>“Then perhaps you can tell me how we can be sure this triangle is a right triangle?”</p>
<p>“Because it has the square drawn in the corner?”</p>
<p>The class bursts out in giggles as Alburn huffs and says, “I suggest you start paying better attention as we will be having a test on this in the upcoming week, I haven’t yet decided on a date but before next Friday.”</p>
<p>The rest of the class drags on, his phone goes crazy in his pocket but he doesn’t dare pull it out until the period ends, fifteen messages, all from the unknown person. He doesn’t bother to read them right now, he isn’t sure he can handle it, especially not cause he’s supposed to walk Jess to her next class. Normally it would be the high point of the day, topped only by his next chance to see her, and then the one after that, even if only for a few minutes. They should make his heart sing, they used to, but lately they’ve mostly consisted of him feeling sick to his stomach and trying his hardest to smile anyway.</p>
<p>Today isn’t any different, he meets her in front of her class and the smile she greets him with reminds him all the more that he doesn’t deserve her love because she needed him, and he failed her. Still, he forces a smile and greets her with a kiss even though the strawberry lip gloss tastes like ash against his lips.</p>
<p>He walks her to class, holds her hand and makes a path for them through the crowded halls, carrying on the idle conversation with her but everytime he sort of relaxes, sort of lets his mental guard down, he sees her on the bed with-with Bryce over her. Even the thought makes his knees shake and his heart pound and sometimes he can’t breath when it happens. It’s not that bad this time though, he gets her to class and hugs her like there’s no tomorrow before she goes in, thankful this time she didn’t ask if he was okay or comment on him being weird.</p>
<p>He’s always torn, watching her go, especially now. Even when her leaving is for something like going to class or into her house at the end of night out together it always feels, irrationally, like she’s leaving him. It’s a spark of panic that flares up each time because he never deserved someone as amazing and wonderful and perfect as her and he’s always feared she’d find out and leave him but now not only is there a concrete, obvious reason for her to do so, but someone else knows.</p>
<p>As if on cue, his phone buzzes and another text is waiting for him.</p>
<p>
  <i>you don’t deserve to hold her like that anymore</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>never did in the 1st place</i>
</p>
<p>It’s true and that’s what hurts. He mutes his phone this time and heads to his own class.</p>
<p>Lunch is the worst part of the day because he can’t avoid Bryce. When he got his schedule a few weeks ago, he had been so happy; Bryce, Jeff, Luke, Scott, and him all shared the same lunch. </p>
<p>Monty is there too but things between them have still been painfully awkward since the day at Rosie’s a few weeks ago. They talk, occasionally, when they need to and when it’s expected of them. It’s painful, especially because the third day of school he doesn’t show up and when he saw him the following Monday, he was black and blue and in a mood so bad that when Justin offered tylenol, Monty nearly threw the bottle at him, his eyes wild and angry. He wants to get back to where they were before the year started, but Monty has always been different around Bryce and Justin sort of wonders if that’s why the summer was better.</p>
<p>Lunch has been nothing short of torture since the party, Bryce has sat next to him or across from him and carried on as if everything was totally normal, as if nothing happened between them. Well mostly, the mood is noticeably more somber, especially on Monday but they don’t talk about it. It seems wrong not to acknowledge Jeff’s absence but he’s going to be okay and the other guys seem desperate for a laugh and to not think about him. The hardest part of the meals are when Bryce-his hands-occasionally if they’re next to each other he touches him, sometimes rubs him through his jeans. He’s never had so much trouble eating in his whole life but he spends most of the meal trying not to throw up and look natural, which means eating unfortunately, while Bryce leads the conversation as easily as ever.</p>
<p>Tuesday was probably the worse, Scott asked how the party was and after a few other details, Bryce proceeded to give an account of ‘the best sex of his life’. Even now Justin still isn’t sure if the sex he was talking about was him or Jess. His memory is fuzzy on what happened but it sounded like Bryce blends them a little and lies outright, neither of he nor Jess begged for more.</p>
<p>Today isn’t too bad, he’s thankfully across from Bryce which means no touching and that’s a relief. It does mean he’ll keep getting more looks and if he’s really unlucky maybe a question about Jess.</p>
<p>Instead he goes the whole period waiting basically at the edge of his seat for something to happen, for some new cruelty he still doesn't really understand but keeps rubbing the scars from the party. But it doesn’t come, not until the end in the form of a smile that says everything it needs to. Bryce doesn’t always have to remind him about what happened as overtly as he has been because even if he doesn't, there’s no need. He already knows everything and that means he basically owns Justin. He can’t refuse Bryce anything anymore because he could tell. Bryce now has his secret and he can’t let it get out.</p>
<p>“We should hang out this weekend Justy.”</p>
<p>“Yea-sounds good.”</p>
<p>It sounds anything but good and he’s not sure how he’s going to get out of this one, if there is a way out. It seems more and more that there isn’t.</p>
<p>He’s at a table in the library now, it’s his study period but he’s just opened a random textbook to a page and has been looking at it unseeing for forty minutes. He can’t do this, Bryce, the texts, the secret- the dirty, nasty secret that clearly isn’t a secret, it’s eating him and the worst part is that there’s no way out, or no good way. He caught himself looking at the buses as they passed, wondering how much a ticket to nowhere costs.</p>
<p>A buzz from his phone pulls him out of a daydream about somewhere quiet with an endless beach back to reality. With shaking hands he pulls it out of his pocket and unlocks it. </p>
<p>
  <i>if she knew you wouldn’t just be sitting there so comfortable</i>
</p>
<p>He’s past the point of looking around for the person, he knows at least half the people in the crowd will be bent over phones with no way for him to know which one is sending the messages. It doesn’t stop his hands from shaking as another one appears but before he can read it, a shadow falls across him, warm, rough hands pull his phone away despite his efforts to hold on. He watches the hands in horror, expecting them to bring the phone up to a face and for the terrible, dark, true messages to be read. </p>
<p>Instead the phone is placed face down on the other side of the table. He looks up and Tony’s taking the seat across from him, a solemn look on his face.</p>
<p>“Can we talk Justin?”</p>
<p>“Sure.” He forces a smile, trying to get Tony to relax. The boy smiles back but it’s painfully sad.</p>
<p>“If you don’t want to smile, you don’t have to.”</p>
<p>He-what-how. He keeps smiling anyway. “Why wouldn’t I want to smile?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know why you in particular might not but I do know there are a lot of reasons people choose not to smile and I don’t think anyone’s ever told you that no one expects you to always be happy or fine and we won’t love you any less for it.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t know how to reply to that if there’s even a way <i>to</i> reply so he settles on. “Well right now I want to smile.”</p>
<p>Tony simply nods.</p>
<p>“Was that all?” He kind of wants to get out of here fast before Tony can say anything else uncomfortable.</p>
<p>“No, I wanted to remind you that your life is different now, that it isn’t you against every adult in the world.”</p>
<p>“Why-why would you do that?”</p>
<p>“Well you’re fine so I guess this would be for the future,” somehow his tone is so non judgemental that Justin can almost believe he knows nothing, “but Matt and Lainie are great people, I mean they put up with Clay and actually like him.” Justin gives a weak chuckle because he loves Clay, but the boy can be a pain. “So if you ever did have something that was too big for you, something that would cause you to say, lie about where you were to conceal something, you have them to fall back on.”</p>
<p>He knows, he knows something but he can’t know everything there’s no way, he must have talked to Clay and Zach and figured out he lied about where he said he was going and that isn’t good but it isn’t the worst thing in the world because they can’t put it all together, there’s no reason for them to put it together they have no evidence of anything it’s not like they were in the room and the clothes he tossed in a dumpster so they’re long gone and-</p>
<p>“Breathe.”</p>
<p>He sucks in a breath. Tony’s still across from him looking concerned he reaches out and lays a hand on one of his, gently. “I mean it. A lot of people care about you Justin and are willing to do just about anything for you, all you need to trust us enough to let us.”
	</p><p>His phone buzzes again and he resists the urge to reach for the phone but Tony follows his eyes to it, he gives him a sad look.</p>
<p>“Think about it Justin. I know you said you're fine but it’s okay to not be and if something is on your mind, any one of us will listen and do our best to help, and that goes for your foster parents, who can do things we can’t.”</p>
<p>He opens his mouth but no sound comes out. Maybe that’s for the best. He doesn’t know what he would say. </p>
<p>“Just think about what I said okay?”</p>
<p>He nods.</p>
<p>“Promise me?”</p>
<p>“Yea, yea I promise.”</p>
<p>He nods approvingly. “If you need anything, you know where to find me, and a lot of other people.”</p>
<p>The bell rings and Tony gets up to leave, ruffles his hair on the way out gently. He leans a bit into the touch without fully realizing what he’s doing. He can’t tell, not all of it. Not to anyone ever for as long as he lives. But Tony’s right, there are people who love him, even if they’re wrong to, and for them he can stick this out to whatever end comes from it.</p>
<p>His phone buzzes as if to contradict his optimism and the sick feeling returns. He doesn’t read the message, just silences his phone and slides it into his pocket. Who’s he kidding? There’s no end to this, it’s going to be his life until everything all comes crashing down.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Happy season 4 drop day and welcome to a new chapter. This one starts several in a row from Justin's pov and will deal with the various affects he feels from what's happened. Just as a warning, they won't be too happy but I promise it'll be worth it. In the meantime, you have Tony to give you warm and fuzzy feelings.</p>
<p>Next chapter should be up next week and like I mentioned earlier, will be another Justin led chapter. It'll feature someone you love to hate, and someone you hopefully don't hate, as well as a number of supporting characters. </p>
<p>Happy reading as always and let me know what you think in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Threats and Promises</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Justin's forced into an awkward hangout at Bryce's house which ends badly. Afterwords he runs into a friend with good advice.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the end he can’t find a way to wiggle out of hanging out with Bryce on Saturday and he’s honestly maybe more afraid than he’s ever been in his life. He doesn’t know how this is going to go but Bryce reminds him several times throughout the week that they’re hanging out with thinly veiled threats clinging to every word and so Saturday morning he ends up letting himself into the back yard like he’s done countless times in the past. </p>
<p>Bryce is waiting for him on one of the poolside chairs, lounging lazily, dressed only in swim trunks and sunglasses which he pushes down to look at him when he comes in.</p>
<p>“Glad you could make it Justy, we probably won’t get too many more chances this year to go swimming. You’ll need to change though.”</p>
<p>Bile rises in his throat even thinking about that, being shirtless in front of Bryce again. Even now he’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt just for a feeling of some security. </p>
<p>“Yea, maybe later. I-just ate. Shouldn’t go swimming until an hour after eating and all that.”</p>
<p>Bryce snorts, “Did that come from Daddy or new Mommy? Certainly didn’t come from your real one.”</p>
<p>His mouth is too dry to reply but Bryce apparently isn’t expecting him to. “Whatever brother, you do you. I’m trying to keep this tan up as long as I can anyway.”</p>
<p>He ends up taking a seat farther away than he ever would have in the past and he still can’t seem to relax. Bryce doing enough of that for both of them though and the older boy seems to have no tension in his body. Meanwhile every muscle in him is tense as if he’s waiting for something to attack him, and maybe he is because he has no idea why he’s here and Bryce doesn’t seem to be in a sharing mood.</p>
<p>Somehow he falls asleep. He has no idea how, despite the warmth of the sun and comfort of the chair cushions, he thought the terror of the situation would be enough to prevent that from ever happening. He hasn’t slept in days but he never thought the first time he did would be around <i>Bryce</i>.</p>
<p>He does remember waking up though because he’s suddenly soaked and shoots up gasping and shocked to a chorus of laughter. Scott and Monty are holding a keg between them with the lid removed and water still dripping out while in the background Bryce, Luke, and Alex laugh. So do Jess and Zach although he tries to hide it behind his hand and -Jess! </p>
<p>There she is, standing next to Leah and some girls he only recognizes as from the cheer team and suddenly he has no idea what to do because  <i>she can’t be here</i>. </p>
<p>His internal panic must make its way to his face cause Scott throws a towel at him and says, “Relax Justin, it’s just water.”</p>
<p>“Next time I ask for your help setting up for a party, try to stay awake for me Justy.”</p>
<p>“You okay Justin? You look a little off?”</p>
<p>His blood’s cold by this point and Zach’s question almost sparks a panic attack but Monty of all people rescues him. “I’m sure if we woke you up by dumping a keg of pool water on you you’d be a little fucked up too.”</p>
<p>During the ensuing laughter he manages to get his tongue working again but now the problem is he doesn’t know what to say at all. Fortunately Bryce turns the music up and a bunch of people jump in the pool to start swimming. He’s still fully dressed and that seems like as good an excuse as any to avoid the pool except that Bryce is one of the only people not swimming, the two of them and Monty who’s being careful with his ribs. </p>
<p>Unfortunately Bryce comes right over to sit with him and Monty follows not far behind. Bryce starts talking, easily, leading the conversation round and round forcing Justin to laugh in order to keep up with Monty.</p>
<p>“You never told me about the party.”</p>
<p>Monty’s causal comment makes him nearly throw up and he dimly remembers Monty being out one day that week, must have been the time Bryce talked about the party. Unfortunately, a wide, sickening smile spread out on Bryce’s face and his stomach drops.</p>
<p>“You missed a killer one Monty, even if I didn’t throw it. Guess you were having too much fun with your old man.”</p>
<p>Monty’s eye twitches slightly but he ignores the comment and instead probes further, “Really?”</p>
<p>Justin has the nauseating feeling he isn’t getting out of this anytime soon unless he goes in the pool and that might actually be worse. He could leave, go inside and clear his head but he’s safer out here with so many people around and out here he can make sure Jess isn’t alone with Bryce either.</p>
<p>So he bites his tongue and listens while Bryce tells Monty all about the party, the good crowd Jess invited, music, food, entertainment, it’s almost enough for Justin to relax but just as the tension starts to leave him a little Bryce says, “I had the best sex of my life too.”</p>
<p>He’s ready to die right there but Bryce doesn’t look at him, focusing on Monty instead.</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, total crybaby, moaner too. I was just too big to handle there was even some bleeding involved cause of how tight it was in there. Honestly it was really hot.”</p>
<p>He stands, is on his feet before he even knows what’s happening and moving away, towards the pool. Jess is to the side, lazily floating and talking to Zach.</p>
<p>He squats down and says, “We should go.”</p>
<p>A frown crosses Jess’s face as she says, “Why? I just got here. You should come in, the water’s nice and warm.”</p>
<p>He shakes his head, hoping his face isn’t as pale as he thinks it is. “No, I’m fine. I really think we should go.”</p>
<p>Zach rests his arms on the side of the pool and says, “You alright Justin? You’ve been a little weird all week.”</p>
<p>Jess though looks more annoyed than concerned, “Why should we leave Justin? You aren’t making any sense, Bryce said you were the one who wanted to invite me when he texted, why are you suddenly so keen to get out of here?”</p>
<p>He flashes a smile, hoping against hope it’ll work. “I just want to be with you without all the distractions.”</p>
<p>Jess looks angry now. “Oh really? After this week where you’ve been so distracted and weird, now you suddenly want to take me away from the distractions? Sorry Justin, that’s not how this works! I’m having fun here.”</p>
<p>He flounders for a moment trying to come up with anything and starts stuttering something, more or less begging her to come when she cuts him off.</p>
<p>“Fuck off Justin! I told you no. Leave if you want to but I’m not going!”</p>
<p>Everyone is looking at them now. It’s uncomfortable but he can’t leave her here, not with Bryce. Even if there’s a pool full of people all he has to do is get her away from them like at the party so she isn’t safe as long as she’s here.</p>
<p>“She’s a big girl, let her make her own decisions Justy.”</p>
<p>When Bryce followed him to the pool he doesn’t know, he does know that he can’t breath, or think and he stands up so fast, determined not to be in a vulnerable position in front of Bryce, that he nearly smacks the older boy.</p>
<p>“Actually you look a little sick. Maybe you should head home, I can take care of Jess whi-”</p>
<p>He doesn’t think, he punches Bryce in the mouth and goes in for another punch when several of the guys, mostly dripping from the pool, grab him.</p>
<p>Bryce reaches up to wipe a trail of blood from the side of his mouth before giving him a look that makes him almost feel guilty. “Really Justy? Now you’re what, jealous or something? C’mon I expect better from you.”</p>
<p>He strains against Scott, Luke, and Monty all holding him back. </p>
<p>“Well listen if you don’t like my party, just say so, the boys can show you out and when you’re ready to play nice you can come back, my door’s always open to you.”</p>
<p>He turns away from Bryce. “Jess-” One last appeal.</p>
<p>She doesn’t look at him, finding the pool house very interesting as she says, “I think you’d better go Justin.”</p>
<p>Soul crushed might be the way to describe the feeling as he’s led out of the back yard by Scott. Jess continues looking away from him with an expression somewhere between angry and hurt, and he put it on her face, Bryce watches smugly. He can’t stand the thought of looking at any of the others but somehow he still catches Monty’s eye by accident. The older boy wears an odd expression, thoughtful and intensely suspicious. </p>
<p>When the gate closes behind him, he hears Bryce’s voice but isn’t close enough to make out what the other boy is saying and then the music gets turned up anyway.</p>
<p>He’s in the park several hours later, sitting and looking at nothing. After leaving the party he tried to muster the energy and courage to go home but he couldn’t think of a good excuse for why he would be home so early, especially not for Clay who’s been like, hyper aware of him for the past few days. It doesn't matter anyway cause he only gets as far as the park before the thought of taking another step is overwhelming. The benefit is that since sitting down, his brain’s stopped working; it’s sort of off actually and that doesn't feel too bad considering that lately thinking has hurt.</p>
<p>Someone sits down next to him.</p>
<p>“You look like your whole world is shattered and you’re trying to pick up pieces that keep breaking in your hands.”</p>
<p>Hannah. </p>
<p>She takes a seat on the bench next to him, watching him with a sideways glance, when he turns to look at her she does the same but he can’t think of anything to say, that’s been happening a lot lately. He doesn’t like it, he used to be so good at talking but now he’s mostly afraid that when he does, everything will come rushing out and people will know.</p>
<p>“We can talk, if you want? Or we can just sit here.”</p>
<p>Apparently she gets the idea he wants to just sit there cause he still can’t talk but she seems fine with that, settles back against the bench and tilts her head up to look at the sky above.
And they stay like that for over an hour, she’s watching the sky and clearly lost in thoughts and he guesses he is too but it’s more not thinking. He vaguely remembers a child show where the dumb character had elevator music in his head in the absensce of real thought and he bets if someone tried to read his mind now they’d get something like that, it’d be fitting at least.</p>
<p>At some point her hand slips into his and her cheek comes to rest on his shoulder. 
He stiffens, everything in him tells him to get up, to run, escape. But this is Hannah, not Bryce...this is Hannah not Jess!</p>
<p>He shrugs his shoulder urgently trying to get her head off, “Someone will see.”
	</p>
<p>That’s the basis of their relationship right? Or it was, someone saw the photo he took of her, a lot of people did and it messed her up badly. If someone sees them now-</p>
<p>“Let them. Clay and Jess are mature enough to know we’re just friends and I don’t care about anyone else's opinion.” </p>
<p>It still feels wrong somehow but Hannah is the first person to be this close to him in a week who hasn’t made his skin crawl or wracked him with guilt to look at...who also isn’t Lainie so second person maybe. Anyway he lets it happen, after the initial burst of panic it’s kind of nice.</p>
<p>After a while she asks, “Have you ever wanted to turn into a dove and fly away from all your problems?”</p>
<p>Glancing at her she’s still watching the sky and he tilts his head up to see some kind of bird perched in a tree nearby, the sad whooo whooo whoo of a bird sounds from behind him, almost like a sigh, a very lonely sigh.</p>
<p>She continues, “I have, I wanted to turn into one and fly far away where no one would know me and all my troubles would be left behind; it’s a daydream I’ve devoted long hours too.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t even bother trying to think of a reply, it hasn't been working for him lately and nothing’s changed to make him want to try.</p>
<p>“Then I realized I did that once, not turning into a bird but left one place and came somewhere new and my problems didn’t follow me, but I had new ones all the same.”</p>
<p>She doesn’t call him out but he’s acutely aware he started those problems for her and even if she isn’t trying to spark guilt, it comes anyway, especially when she laces their fingers together loosely.</p>
<p>“But I realized something, this summer, dating Clay, spending time with you and Jess too. I-I can’t have to run away from my problems and I don’t need to, because I don’t have to handle them alone. I have three friends who will help me if I ask,” she squeezes his hand and he realizes numbly he’s one of the people she’s talking about, “and a very sweet, well meaning, incredibly uptight and painfully meticulously boyfriend who will come up with half a dozen plans to fix any problem I have. And I have a mom and dad who love me more than anything else. As long as I have those people, I can make it through anything, if I let them help me.”</p>
<p>His mouth is dry, tongues heavy as she finishes. “I realized I had problems, ones that were bigger than me, bigger than this place and what’s happened here and much bigger than any blame I can assign anyone involved, myself or others. I talked to Mom about it and things have been getting better. We’re talking about me maybe seeing someone occasionally, a psychologist, just cause. And I’m feeling better than I ever have and life no longer feels like something I want to fly away from, and it all started because I decided to talk to people who love me.”</p>
<p>She falls silent after that, her head still relaxing against him. He’s-his brain is somehow firing on all cylinders and at the same time not thinking anything. Her message is basically the same as Tony’s just a different flavor of it. He wonders if they know something, or if he’s just been so obvious that something’s wrong they both arrived at the conclusion that he needed some kind of intervention, he wonders if they came to it together or separately. </p>
<p>They <i>can’t</i> know. Actually they can’t know, if they did-Bryce was right, if people ever find out-who’s going to want him? He’s disgusting, and he let <i>that</i> happen to Jess and is now hiding it. He’ll get dropped by everyone, fostering isn’t permanent, he could be sent away in a heartbeat and no one would want to keep up with him, he’d be in exactly the same situation that for years kept him from ever even daydreaming about what life could be in a more predictable setting without a parade of Mom’s lovers and their drugs. So she can’t know, and neither can Tony, they wouldn’t be being so nice if they did.</p>
<p>She nudges him. “I’m not telling you what to do, I’m sure you get enough of that between Clay and Bryce.”</p>
<p>He stiffens before he even thinks about it and he knows she frowns but doesn’t comment. “Just think about it for me. Think about talking to someone, even if you can’t tell us for some reason there’s a mental health clinic on 20th that doesn’t charge anything and is confidential.”</p>
<p>She shifts, taking her head off his shoulder and leaving a cold spot, then stands up. “I have to get going, and you probably should too, Clay says that your dad is weird about being on time for dinner when everyone’s going to be home. I can get one of my parents to drive you if you want?”</p>
<p>He shakes his head. “No, thanks. I want to walk, try to clear my head.”</p>
<p>She nods and turns to leave when he calls out, “Hey Hannah?”</p>
<p>She spins around and looks at him questioningly. “How-how was the conversation-that you had with your mom?”</p>
<p>A moment of hesitation and then says, “Starting was the hardest thing in the world but after that it got easier and the reward is totally worth it, I felt like I shed a weight I didn’t know I was carrying.”</p>
<p>He nods, he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to tell Matt and Lainie, they’re not even his real parents, they like him, but only cause he’s low maintenance and doesn’t make any problems...usually, and makes them laugh. That won’t be true if he tells them this-they won’t be able to like him.</p>
<p>Hannah gives him a small smile, encouraging as she says, “You can do it Justin. You’re braver than you think you are. I’ll see you around?”</p>
<p>“Yea, yea I’ll see you Monday.”</p>
<p>They say goodbye and he starts on his way home, walking slow. He’ll probably be late to dinner but it seems like a minor thing at the moment. Most things seem minor. Hannah was right, he does sort of feel like the world is breaking in his hands and he doesn’t see how to put it back together, much less how getting kicked out of the only place that's ever felt like home helps him do that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I just realized I posted with without leaving, not sure how I overlooked that! Anyway, here we have more of Bryce being the absolute worst and enjoying it followed by Hannah giving some good advice. I know the past few chapters have been pretty heavy and without  much hope, but next one things start to get better.</p>
<p>Speaking of next one, it should be out next Friday or Saturday and is already written and proof read. </p>
<p>I hope you enjoy this chapter and happy reading to everyone. Special shout out to De_la_Cruz87  for beta reading this whole story, she's amazing.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Confession Times</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He manages to hold out for the weekend but Monday brings changes not even Justin can weather alone.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Monday morning starts off all wrong. He gets up late, Clay’s already out of the room which never happens, and he feels sick to his stomach which lately isn’t new but today feels worse than most. His body aches all over and even pulling himself out of bed sets off a dizzy wave that nearly sends him back into it. He forces himself to stay upright though, and makes it to the bathroom and the toilet where he ends up dry heaving until Lainie finds him several minutes later. He knows it’s her cause Matt always rubs his back but she brushes his hair, Clay usually gets one of them, and right now, a hand smooths his hair and a voice murmurs soft, comforting things to him and calls him honey and other nice things in a gentle voice. </p>
<p>A few minutes later he’s back in bed without much memory of how but he assumes it involved help from Matt cause the man is sitting at the edge of his bed speaking slowly to him, trying to get him to take something which he does even though he isn’t sure what it is, probably medicine. </p>
<p>He can’t help flinching away when the man reaches towards him and Matt looks hurt. Somewhere in his foggy mind he realizes he’s acting weird but he doesn’t have the energy to care as much as he should.</p>
<p>The rest of the day consists of broken memories because he sleeps for most of it, the nightmares apparently stopped by pure exhaustion though why now and not before when he was exhausted too he isn’t sure. He does faintly remember Lainie coming up to the room and he’s so, so happy when she helps him move down to the living room where he doesn’t have to be alone.
He knows she's there for the rest of the day, sitting with him on the couch, him curled up under a blanket, his head against her thigh, her hand finding his hair to brush slowly as she types away on her laptop for work. </p>
<p>It’s actually a pretty nice day all in all, up until he goes to bed and looks at his phone for the first time, there are texts from Zach and Jess, telling him to get well soon and asking if he’s alright and under normal circumstances they’d be happy reminders that he’s living a better life than he deserves but now they just hurt.</p>
<p>Of course there are other messages too, a lot from the unknown number accusing him of running away from his problems, reminding him Jess doesn’t have that luxury, and adding on that it’s just another reason he’s wrong for her. A couple wondering what will happen now that he isn’t there to protect the secret, those chill him to the bone.</p>
<p>There are a few from Bryce too, the first asking how he is, as if he doesn’t know, and the rest offering to come by and bring him anything he needs, asking if he can tell the guys anything cause they’re asking, and promising to take care of Jess for the day. The thought that without him there, Bryce can tell the guys anything and worse, has access to Jess, nearly makes him throw up, something he hasn’t done since the morning and he ends up going to bed feeling worse than he woke up that morning.</p>
<p>The following morning, he basically begs to go to school and even though Lainie clearly doesn’t like it, she relents when he convinces Matt he’s feeling better and Clay adds in he has a test and it’s better he takes it that day.</p>
<p>He wishes the day went like the ones last week did, a blur of anxiety, texts, and thinly veiled threats from Bryce. As bad as that was, it was still better than what happens. He gets to study hall when a girl sits down across from him. He knows her face, she’s one of the HO girls, the head lady he thinks. Casey, he’s like ninety percent sure that’s her name just from Jess talking about her. Justin’s tried to be friendly with her when he’s seen her but he’s always gotten the cold shoulder. Jess says she doesn’t like the jocks, he honestly thinks she doesn’t like men.</p>
<p>He can’t imagine why she’s here now but he sort of wants her to leave, he’s not been in a great mood for dealing with people lately, especially not strangers but he manages to force a smile on his face and give a greeting. </p>
<p>She looks him up and down, disgusted, and then says simply, “She trusted you and you did that to her.”</p>
<p>He opens his mouth and then closes it. Her look hardens. “Don’t have anything to say? Come on at least try to defend yourself and give me some kind of reason.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” There’s no way, how could she know? Wait, does that mean she’s the one with the texts?</p>
<p>“Don’t play dumb,” she pauses for a second and then says, “well you are a jock so you’re dumb anyway but you know exactly what I’m talking about. You let your best friend rape your girlfriend!”</p>
<p>“Ssshhhhh! Not so loud, keep your voice down.”</p>
<p>“Why? So you can keep on lying! I don’t care who hears! You can’t go on defending him like he did nothing wrong, like you did nothing wrong!”</p>
<p>“Jess will find out.” People are looking but they don’t seem like they’ve heard anything yet.</p>
<p>“And?”</p>
<p>“She doesn't need to know about this.”</p>
<p>“So you can keep hiding what you did to her.” Cold, she isn’t asking, she's saying and daring him to say her interpretation is wrong.</p>
<p>“What? No this-she doesn’t ever need to go through the pain knowing what this is like.”</p>
<p>Casey sneers and honestly it might be impressive except for what she says. “Don’t pretend you know what it’s like. Don’t act like you’re being empathetic towards her to cover your own crime. You did it and you need to pay for it. She’s going to know, either you tell her, or I will.”</p>
<p>“You can’t- Jess-she doesn’t have to ever know. It’ll only hurt her.”</p>
<p>“She’ll get through the pain and be better for it, you should worry more about yourself, she’ll drop you like a rock, like I’ve been telling her to do. Honestly, dating a jock, what was she expecting?”</p>
<p>And what is he supposed to say? Jess should-when he does tell her she should leave him because he’ll deserve it but should he tell her? Telling the truth is always supposed to be the right thing to do and yet how can it be the right thing to totally destroy Jess’s life? If there’s a way for her to continue without ever knowing what happened, without ever feeling the things he is, then shouldn’t that be the right thing to do?</p>
<p>Casey is still looking at him with disgust before a smirk comes over her face, “I’m looking forward to this, you’re not going to be able to smile your way out of this one.” And with that she gets up and leaves, leaving him with one overriding question, should he tell Jess?</p>
<p>The question haunts him through history and then geometry, constantly dominating all the thinking space in his head. There’s no good answer, of course there isn’t, good outcomes don’t come from bad decisions,  at least that’s what Matt says,  and he let this awful thing happen, so it makes sense there’s no good way to deal with it; but trying to figure out the least awful solution leaves his stomach in knots and when he’s called on to go to board to write a problem he doesn’t have the answer to anyway, it only gets worse. It’s unfortunate because the teacher thinks he should and the unhelpful commentary over how ‘easy’ the problem is combined with everything ends in him throwing up, all over himself and the board, in front of everyone.</p>
<p>The next thing he remembers is sitting in Ms. Tymes’ office with Zach, who shares geometry with him, waiting for Lainie to come get him and dreading it.</p>
<p>She isn’t happy to see him, he can tell by the look on her face and the way she doesn’t say anything as she signs him out, the walk to the car, not even the drive home. It isn’t until they’re in the house that she says, “Go up and change and then we’re having a talk, you and me.”</p>
<p>Dread settles into his stomach thick and heavy as he peels off the vomit covered clothes and puts on clean ones. All he can think is that he’s really done it this time, that Lainie’s figured out something and this is it. He leaves gross clothes in a bag instead of putting them in the washing machine, they’re pretty nice clothes and he doesn’t want to forget them-well he’ll probably be leaving pretty quick and that’ll be it won’t it? He won’t have the Jensen’s, Bryce, Jess, no one, not even Mom who was always a shaky constant at best in life before, she’d always eventually be there even if he wanted her sooner but now she’s gone for good.</p>
<p>If heading upstairs to change felt like the walk of shame, going back downstairs and joining Lainie in the kitchen feels more like going up to the gallows. Dread and anxiety mix together in a toxic cocktail that leaves his knees weak and shaking and makes his feet feel like lead. </p>
<p>She wastes no time after he sits down, “You’ve been acting strange for over a week and I think maybe it’s time you told me what’s going on.”</p>
<p>He recognizes the voice, it’s her negotiating voice, the one she used when making deals almost a year ago to get him released into her custody the first time. It feels like forever ago with how much has changed. Some of the sweeter memories, and even some of the bittersweet ones, from that time almost combat the feeling of dread and disgust in him.</p>
<p>He doesn’t say anything though and apparently she was prepared for that and continues. “I think something happened, something at school maybe? Or maybe two weekends ago? You’ve been in your own world for a while now.”</p>
<p>He looks away, meeting her eyes is painful because they’re so earnest and there’s no way they can stay like that if she knew. </p>
<p>“I can’t tell you.” There isn’t a point in pretending nothing’s wrong, Lainie can smell a lie a mile away and anyway, pretty much everyone’s commented that something’s been up with him. His only hope is that maybe, just maybe, she’ll let it go.</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>Her voice is sad unlike Mom who would have been angry. He could have dealt with anger, it would have been preferable even. Her expression is still one he isn’t totally sure how to name, it’s a combination of sadness, worry, and probably a few other things he hasn’t managed to identify yet. It cuts right through him and he wishes she would just yell instead of looking at him like that.</p>
<p>“I just can’t.”</p>
<p>She pauses and then says, “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”</p>
<p>His heart freezes because she won’t want to help if she knows, no one will.</p>
<p>“I don’t think you can help me if I do.”</p>
<p>He risks a look up at her and wishes he hadn’t because the expression is still the same and he can feel his resolve crumbling.</p>
<p>“How can you be sure if you don’t try?”</p>
<p>He hesitates and then says, “I can’t be. But I don’t think I want to try.”</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>“Because I want-I don’t want-if I tell you and you-there’s too many things that can go wrong.” He can’t make himself say the thing he expects because it’s way too painful to even consider even if it’s what he deserves and what he’s trying to prepare himself for happening.</p>
<p>“Justin, there is nothing you could do that would make Matt or I ever think of kicking you out.” And of course she knows, honestly hearing her say it is just exhausting because even though she wants it to be reassuring, she doesn’t even know what he’s done yet.</p>
<p>“You don’t know that.”</p>
<p>“Try me.”</p>
<p>He looks up at her and sighs. There’s no way he’s getting out of this without saying anything and lying is still pointless. “I-I let Bryce rape Jess.”</p>
<p>The words taste wrong, disgusting in his mouth, sour and stale and icky and true.</p>
<p>“I’m sure there’s more to the story than that. The Justin I know wouldn’t ‘let’ something like that happen, so why don’t you start from the beginning and tell me everything?”</p>
<p>And he does, “We-we were at the party, the one at her house two weekends ago and we went up to her room to-well you know but she was sort of really drunk and passed out. I was on my way out when Bryce came in and-well he was going to have sex with her-in front of me. Said she was being a tease and I needed to take what I wanted and then he reached for her and I-I tackled him and we fought but I wasn’t strong enough and then he-he had sex with her anyway while she was asleep and I-I couldn’t stop him.”</p>
<p>Lainie looks at him, her eyes are sharp and he can feel it coming, the rejections.</p>
<p>“Is that all that happened? I believe that what you said is true but I didn’t see any signs of a fight on you and I’m sure it would have taken a lot for you to not be able to stop him.”</p>
<p>He hesitates, she doesn’t seem angry, but he supposes that probably comes later, after all she’s a lawyer and he just admitted to doing something illegal and that’s ignoring how horrible it is. Then again, even saying as much as he did feels kind of good. He didn’t realize how heavy the secret was until he dropped half the load and it’s not like he can worsen his situation, it’s pretty much as bad as it’s going to get. </p>
<p>“He-before he raped her-but after we fought he umm-he kind of tossed me on the bed and-” He chokes up as burning tears spring from his eyes and without really expecting a reply finally asks the question that’s haunted him since it happened. “How could he do that to me? He was my brother, my best friend, when we were kids I thought the world revolved around him. He could smile and make anything okay-I loved him, I thought he loved me too-”</p>
<p>“Oh Justin.” She sounds heartbroken as arms wrap around him gently and hold him against her chest, the smell of her perfume envelopes him like the hug itself.</p>
<p>“You’ve been going on for all this time keeping that a secret?”</p>
<p>He nods, crying and not making any effort to stop.</p>
<p>“So no one else knows? You haven’t told Jess?”</p>
<p>He shakes his head and feels her fingers brush through his hair.</p>
<p>She sighs and doesn’t say anything more about it until he’s done crying. It takes an embarrassingly long time but she holds him for all of it and whispers nice things to him and lets him cry until he can’t imagine ever being able to cry again.</p>
<p>That’s when she tells him she loves him, that she’s sorry this ever happened to him and that it was by someone he trusted so much, and she also tells him he should talk to the police, that what Bryce did was wrong and that Jess should know.</p>
<p>She tells him it wasn’t his fault and he can almost believe it coming from her.</p>
<p>He doesn’t want to do any of that and apparently she can tell he has misgivings because she holds his hand and looks him straight in the face and says, “He hurt you badly Justin, and he hurt Jess too, he could do it to more people. I won’t make you, but I think you should consider it. As for Jess, I don’t think you’ll feel right until you tell her and I think she’ll want to know, and to hear it from you. Just think about it for me?”</p>
<p>He nods, unable to do anything and she leaves it there, continues sitting with him.</p>
<p>Later that night he tells Clay and Matt. He doesn’t really want to but telling them is easier than telling Lainie and Clay doesn’t freak out too much...somehow.</p>
<p>He ends up texting Jess, asking her to come over. Lainie gives her blessing even though it’s a school night because of the circumstance and Jess manages to negotiate with her mom in order to come. They haven’t been on amazing terms since the weekend so he’s relieved she agrees. Well sort of, he kind of hates it too cause if she had said no, he could have put it off.</p>
<p>When she comes, they go to the kitchen while the Jensens go upstairs. They sit there for almost fifteen minutes together, because even though he asked her to come over, he still hasn’t figured out how to tell her. He makes several false starts while she sits across from him looking confused and hurt and she tried taking his hand but he didn’t let her, couldn’t let her. He saw the hurt on her face when he did it but he can’t bring himself to let her, it’ll make her-at the end when they-he wants to start getting used to not being with her.</p>
<p>“What do you remember about the party?”</p>
<p>She lets out a chuckle like she wants to lighten the mood but it sounds strained and doesn’t really work. “A lot you need to be more specific.”</p>
<p>“About after we went up to your room.”</p>
<p>“We-we had sex right? And I fell asleep and you went to Zach’s right?”</p>
<p>The fact that she repeats the lie about Zach’s tells him she remembers pretty much nothing about that part.</p>
<p>“That’s not -not how it happened.”</p>
<p>She looks at him, big brown eyes pleading but he doesn't know if they’re telling him to stop or to keep going or to lie or something else entirely.</p>
<p>“We did go up to your room but you fell asleep pretty quickly. I was on my way out when Bryce came in and-”</p>
<p>“Justin don’t-don’t say anymore please I-I don’t want that to be true and if you don’t say-then maybe it won’t be.”</p>
<p>He looks at her, eyes misty but maybe it’s the wetness of his own. He waits a moment, she’s asking him to say nothing, it would be so easy, or easier than this anyway. But it won’t be right. Lainie and Matt both said he should tell her, for both their sakes. He still doesn’t want to, but he also feels like he needs to, but if she doesn’t want to, what is he supposed to do, tell her anyway and make her feel what he’s feeling?</p>
<p>“Is that really what you want?”</p>
<p>She hesitates and then says “I remembered-on the Monday after, I remembered Bryce being there in my room and him-him leaning on me. I told myself it wasn’t real, that it couldn’t have happened but I-Casey knew something was wrong and I told her. She kept insisting I should trust myself but I was so sure that you-What happened Justin?”</p>
<p>She was so sure he would protect her. Bile burns at the back of his throat but he swallows it back down.</p>
<p>“Bryce came in and I tried to get him to leave and then tried to fight him off but he was stronger and-I couldn’t.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t think he breathes as he waits for her to reply and he’s not entirely sure she does either even though the moment seems to go on forever. Finally she says, “So that’s it? He-he had sex with me and you didn’t stop him?”</p>
<p>He can’t look at her. How is he supposed to? She’s only the greatest girl he’s ever known and he only let the worst thing in the world happen to her and then continued covering it up.</p>
<p>“Or is there more?”</p>
<p>His mouth goes dry as she continues, “Because I also remember, at least I think I do, Bryce saying something while he was-he compared us, he-he asked why I was quieter- he did it to you too, didn’t he?”</p>
<p>She reaches out and takes his hand, this time he doesn’t stop her. “He hurt you because you tried to protect me, didn’t he?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Fuck him.”</p>
<p>He finally looks up at her, her eyes are wet but also blazing and once again he’s impressed by just how strong she is.</p>
<p>“He-what the hell is wrong with him? You didn’t want to have sex with me while I was knocked out so he was going to, then you tried to stop him and what a decade of ‘friendship’ all went up in smoke and he did that to both of us? What a pig! What an asshole! I can’t believe he would do that! What? Was he jealous or something? That you had other people to spend time with or that or that someone would dare to try to stop him from being a horny creep! I hope you landed a good punch or two on his stupid face!”</p>
<p>He wishes he had half her spirit but as it stands, he’s stiff from all the yelling and still feels sicker than he wants and his heart feels a lot lighter, like Hannah said it would, but still so, so heavy because his first instinct, even now, even after the past two weeks, is to stand up for Bryce and insist that he didn’t mean it or that it isn’t as bad as it seems. The only problem, glaringly obvious as it is, is that this isn’t an off color joke or mean comment and even though he knows first hand what Bryce can do now, his mind, and heart, still circle back to this being Bryce.</p>
<p>Her eyes soften though and she rubs his knuckles, “I’m sorry. Bryce meant a lot more to you than he ever did to me. And I’m sorry for how I acted at the party at his place. I knew he was trying to upset you and I should have listened to you but nothing happened, Zach never left my side and drove me home later that day.”</p>
<p>“I shouldn’t have-I should have told you sooner.”</p>
<p>“Maybe, but I know you didn’t cause you wanted to protect me, right? And this only proves how lucky I am to have such an amazing boyfriend, that he would rather self destruct alone than hurt me.” She lifts his hand up to her face and kisses his knuckles and for a moment, a peace settles over him that he hasn’t felt in a long time.</p>
<p>And then Jess continues, “So what now? We can’t just-let him do this and get away with it. Have you talked to Mrs. Jensen about it? She’s a lawyer. I'm sure she had some advice!”
	</p><p>He ends up going up to get her because she can explain everything way better than him. Jess is adamant about going to the police, he’s surprised and not exactly happy but this isn’t about him alone anymore, he told Jess and now any decision she makes, he’ll support. They talk long into the night about options and legal action and agree that after school tomorrow, she’ll bring her parents to meet with Lainie and then probably to go to the police. By the time she leaves, he’s exhausted and stressed, and terrified of tomorrow and the prospect of having to tell all of this again to strangers but he’ll put on a brave face and do it for Jess.</p>
<p>It ends up keeping him up for a long time anyway. As much as he tells himself he can do it for Jess...the thought of this getting out and people knowing is sickening. He doesn’t want anyone else to and he feels like Jess and his family knowing is more than enough, well and Casey and Bryce but they don’t count in the same way. He almost works himself into a panic but Clay comes over before he does and lays on his bed, stretched out over the covers with him. Part of him wishes Clay would just slide under with him and he’s sure that the other boy is trying to help but not make him uncomfortable but he doesn’t want this-he doesn’t want to be treated different or like he’s fragile. Then again, he hasn’t made the best case for himself on that front lately and with that in mind, he finally manages to settle down and presses as close to Clay as he can, willing himself to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And welcome to the next chapter! I should say that as far as writing was concerned, getting here was the hardest part and it got easier after so hopefully if the story has had you feeling too down, it gets better from here on out. At least writing did so I assume reading will too. We get the big reveal of the blackmailer, and Justin's confession to his family and then Jess.</p>
<p>Speaking of family, going forward we'll return to a more normal schedule for narrators with Clay and Justin returning to alternating and next chapter should be out in about a week and follow with the next big leap in the story and a lot of extra drama cause this is Liberty after all.</p>
<p>As always happy reading and I hope you all are well. I love comments and reading them so if you have thoughts, feel free to leave them and a special thanks to De-la_Cruz87 for beta reading this for me!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Truth Comes Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Following Justin's confession, Clay's life is more interesting but someone at Liberty takes it upon themselves to increase the pressure on Justin and Jess. Following that Zach takes Justin on a field trip to hell.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Clay shuffles into the gym sleepily. Last night had been rough for Justin, most have since the night he made the startling confession. Even after six days of knowing, part of him is still in shock. He’s never liked Bryce, actually, he’s always hated Bryce and yet he never thought he would do something like this, especially not to Justin who practically worships the ground he walks on. He’s angry, livid even. He wants to punch him, to try to hurt him like he hurt Justin except he doesn’t think that’s possible cause he doubts Bryce loves anyone but himself and therefore probably doesn’t even understand, much less be able to experience, the pain he’s caused Justin. </p>
<p>Anyway, last night they had gone to sleep in separate beds but Justin had crawled in next to him after about two hours of tossing and turning. That had been fine, he expected it but Justin had wanted to try sleeping apart. The problem was that even together, Justin was still restless and they had eventually ended up talking because neither was able to sleep. Unfortunately, being up until three something in the morning wasn’t an excuse to not go to school the next day.</p>
<p>Their saving grace is that today is the Get Involved! fair. Every year Liberty hosts a showcase of the various clubs and sports available at the school for incoming freshmen to let them meet officers of the clubs and learn about Liberty’s after school programs. It’s boring and tedious and he’d rather be with Jeff at the learning outreach program table. Instead, he’s stuck representing the Honor Board which means his wonderful company is Marcus because Courtney is busy at the admissions table signing people in.</p>
<p>Luckily their table doesn't attract too much attention and Marcus does most of the talking when people wander over. In the meantime he tries to find his friends, mostly out of boredom. Justin is easy enough, the basketball team is across from him and Zach is tall as hell even sitting down. Jess and Sheri are under the bright blue cheerleaders banner, dressed in their uniforms and interacting with people so easily he’s a little jealous. He spots Bryce at the football table looking like the supreme asshole he is, shaking hands and all he’s missing is a crown and scepter to look like a king. It’s infuriating because he belongs in a jail cell instead of here, living his life like he’s done nothing wrong. Alex is with the jazz band, looking about as interested as he feels, while Tony seems pretty happy with someone else from auto shop. Jeff is with the baseball team, smiling and laughing and probably filling up several sign up sheets compared to the ten names he and Marcus have gotten.</p>
<p>His gaze shifts around the room lazily looking for other familiar faces, fingers itching to reach for his phone and text someone, probably Hannah, but he knows it looks bad for the group when someone is on their phone. Besides, Marcus would be a dick about it. The room is predictably noisy, a dull roar of people talking in such large numbers inevitably creates such an environment but since no one has a microphone, it all sort of blends together and everything besides what’s happening at their table and the ones on either side is impossible to distinguish.</p>
<p>That is until a voice breaks out over them. “Along the north wall of the far side of the gym you see Liberty’s famed sports teams and their legendary cheerleading squad.”</p>
<p>A girl’s but he can’t find the source and then realizes it’s because she has to be on the same side as him and not across where he would find her easy.</p>
<p>“They’re the talk of the school, who needs to fund the robotics club, or outreach to rape survivors when football and basketball brings in the crowds? Last year, our basketball team, previously unheard of at the regional level, went all the way to states for the first time while the football team made it to semifinals in their division. And of course who could forget the baseball team? Last season, our Tigers brought home our seventh State Cup after trouncing the other team in the championship.”</p>
<p>Marcus nudges him and points over at a table several down from them where a girl with thick framed glasses and short dark hair stands on a chair whipping up a crowd. He vaguely recognizes her as someone in Jess’s girls club apparently representing it while she’s at cheerleading. He frowns, the girls around her are booing, and across the gym, the jocks are watching with varying degrees of confusion and suspicion while Jess looks uncomfortable. He tries to catch Justin’s eye but a crowd separates them and he can only barely see the top of Zach’s hair.</p>
<p>“And supporting our boys in uniform is our amazing cheerleaders squad, always there to cheer for them every step of the way. So head on over boys and girls and sign up for any or all of the legendary teams over there, that’s what you all want, right?”</p>
<p>For a moment she allows the booing of the crowd around her to drown her out before resuming her speech. “Of course not! Fuck the sports at this school. Administration may like them for bringing prestige to the school but that just demonstrates the world is run by the patriarchy and it doesn’t care about the women and our needs!”</p>
<p>Marcus looks around anxiously and mumbles, “Shoot, someone needs to get Bolan or something before this gets out of hand.” </p>
<p>Actually there are several adults all trying to get at the girl and her megaphone but they’re blocked by a solid wall of teenage girls and don’t look sure of how to handle the situation. He dimly wonders how long the club planned this because most of the girls are upperclassmen who should be in class but are clearly members of the club and here because of some prior directive. From the look on Jess’s face, it wasn’t her who gave the order.</p>
<p>“And I can prove it. You see, the cheerleaders are in a weird spot, part of the man-machine but girls and while traitors to everything they should stand for and even though they support the same institutions that repress girls, they aren’t anything more than a pretty resource in a skirt to exploit and used.”</p>
<p>“Everyone here knows the school’s power couple, cheerleader Jessica Davis and co-captain of the basketball team Justin Foley.”</p>
<p>His heart starts pumping faster than he knew it could. She can’t say what he thinks she’s going to right? She can’t know? A glance at Justin, the crowd parted just enough to see him, reveals he looks like he’s going to pass out and Jess looks horrified. Shit. She does know something doesn’t she?</p>
<p>“They’re probably well on their way to prom king and queen, likely to be in the yearbook as best couple, and complete with all of the other shallow trappings of a high school romance. Justin isn’t shy about professing his love for her and does so right after kissing her every time they leave each other. It sounds like the perfect romance, on their way to being something right of a trash Nicholas Sparks novel, high school sweethearts that fall in ‘love’ forever while only teenagers except they aren’t and here’s why.”</p>
<p>“He doesn’t love her and she isn’t anything more to the machine than a pretty face they can use because at the top of this machine is Bryce Walker. Even you freshmen know him, he's the son of the richest people in town, king of Liberty, captain of the football team, co captain of the baseball team, and he always gets what he wants. That’s the important part because apparently what he wanted at a party three weeks ago that was Jessica. He raped her.”</p>
<p>A gasp goes up from the room but Casey doesn’t wait for the shock to settle in.</p>
<p>“And I’m sure some of you misogynists and traitors will say it isn’t rape even before hearing the whole story, and some of you will say the same even after hearing it but Jess was drunk and passed out and Bryce had sex with her, in her own room no less. For any of you not up to date on your consent laws, sex is only lawful is both parties agree and being unconscious means Jessica was in no position to agree and therefore, was raped. And yet that isn’t even the worst part, oh no, as bad as it is there’s one more detail that proves my earlier point and that’s this: while Jessica Davis was being raped in her own bedroom, her knight in shining armor,” the sarcasm in her voice is so thick Clay might be impressed if he wasn’t so disturbed, “Justin Foley, watched.”</p>
<p>The crowd’s shock quickly breaks into indignation and rage. Marcus looks at him in shock and he can't see Justin which is making him panic a little.</p>
<p>“That’s right, and it isn’t the end because after letting it happen, he also covers it up, went on pretending it never happened and still dating her because even now, he still hasn’t told her, so I am. He’s no less guilty of this than Bryce, he may not have raped her, but he just sat by and let it happen, he needs to suffer consequences for his part too!”</p>
<p>The room descends into a frenzy and he can’t find Justin in the crowd, or Jess for that matter.</p>
<p>“Hi.”</p>
<p>The mic crackles to life and talks over the crowd. His eyes, and most others travel over to the front of the room where he sees Jess at the podium. Tony stands up next to her from obviously fiddling with the controls and turning the mic on.</p>
<p>“Oh good this is actually working. My name is Jessica Davis.” </p>
<p>A collective gasp goes up from most of the room who are freshmen who would need the introduction. He glances over at the girl with the megaphone and she doesn’t exactly look happy.</p>
<p>“I’m a cheerleader here at Liberty and the secretary of HO, the president of our club, Casey, has already told you a lot about me.”</p>
<p>It’s an attempt at humor from the awkward half smile Jess gives and several laughs go up, all varying shades of uncomfortable, relieved, and several might be better called sobs but even that might not be the right word.</p>
<p>“I just wanted to set a few things straight about what she said and to clarify that she did this on her own without telling me, I’m just as surprised as you are about all of this. First, this isn’t Casey’s story. Everything she’s told you, I told her after the party. I had memories of these things happening and was confused about them and told her. I have no idea why she decided to tell this to you, especially not when she left out several important things I told her. This isn’t even my story alone to tell you but I will in order to kill some rumors before they start.”</p>
<p>“Second, Bryce did do what she said, he did rape me in my bedroom during a party. That’s about all she got right. Obviously I know what happened to me since I’m standing up here telling all of you and I know because Justin told me, and he told me on his own. I had memories of things, but he filled in the details and gave me the full story of what happened that night, something Casey doesn’t know but I’m going to tell everyone.”</p>
<p>“Justin and I went up to my room but I was drunk and passed out in bed,” she pauses for a moment and then says, “take it from me, don’t start drinking in high school cause it’s the cool thing to do, the consequences for me have been worth so much more than the popularity. Anyway, I drank and I passed out in bed. Justin was on his way out when Bryce came in and when Bryce started trying to touch me, Justin fought him. He didn’t ‘let’ Bryce do what he wanted.” </p>
<p>Murmurs ripple through the crowd but Casey, megaphone in hand speaks up, “Are you one of us or not? Stop protecting the rapists!”</p>
<p>Cheers go up from the girls around her while across the room Bryce wears an expression of annoyance while most of the other jocks look uncomfortable at being jeered at by an increasingly unhappy crowd.</p>
<p>Jess starts speaking again. “I don’t think so. I don’t need someone else to tell me how to think and feel about things, especially not things that happen to me. I have an amazing boyfriend, jock or not. Justin not only got beaten up that night by the person he called his best friend, there was another reason he didn’t tell me for so long, a reason less than ten people know and I wish I didn’t have to be the one to increase that number but everyone needs to know that Justin wasn’t protecting Bryce by not speaking up earlier, he was protecting me. He didn’t want me to know that I was raped because it’s a painful thing and something I’d rather not be talking about now with any of you. But he knew how hard it would be for me to learn what Bryce did from experience. Bryce raped two people that night, before he raped me, he did the same to Justin.”</p>
<p>His heart sinks and he can’t find Justin in the crowd, nor can he get out to find him, the crowd is packed in too close and doesn’t budge an inch when he tries to squeeze past them.</p>
<p>The crowd goes silent in shock but Jess continues. “Justin didn’t tell me right away because he didn’t want me to feel what he did, the sense of hopelessness and worthlessness, the feeling that someone took something from you that you can’t ever take back and you’re somehow less because of it. And if you can believe it, he left me in a hard position by being so kind to me because selfishly, I’m happy he waited. He’s had time to figure out how to deal with all of those emotions and I’ve had the benefit of it, he’s spent hours with me, letting me talk at him about how I feel and offering more comfort than I ever expected and it’s real because he knows how I feel more than any other person in the world. At the same time, I wish he had told me sooner rather than trying to work it all out on his own so that I could have helped him sooner.”</p>
<p>The room is mostly silent at this point, everyone looking between Jess and Casey and he feels a rock in his stomach but Jess isn’t done yet.</p>
<p>“There’s another thing not too many people know and that’s this, Justin and I went to the police already. Charges have been filed and this is going to court.”</p>
<p>By this point Bolan is finally in the room and Clay barely remembers the rest of what happens, only that Jess, Justin, Casey, and Bryce are all sent to the main office. He doesn’t hear anything from Justin or Jess until he gets home and Dad tells him the school has suspended Jess and Casey for what happened, and Justin for apparently talking back to Bolan during the meeting. Nothing happens to Bryce.</p>
<p>He heads upstairs to find Justin in their room, sitting on the couch as he watches his phone vibrate like crazy on the table.</p>
<p>He clears his throat and says, “Hey.”</p>
<p>Justin looks up and Clay’s breath catches, his brother hasn’t looked this miserable since Amber died. His eyes are red while he rocks himself back and forth, arms wrapped around his body as if he needed a hug so bad he couldn’t wait for someone else to give it.</p>
<p>He nods at his phone and says “It's been like this all afternoon.”</p>
<p>Clay walks over and picks the phone up, opening the screen to switch it to mute but not before he sees over a hundred unopened messages waiting.</p>
<p>“Zach asked if I’m okay, Jess apologizing for what she said, Casey called me a liar, and a bunch of other people saying a lot of other stuff and I’m just-tired.”</p>
<p>He looks it too, emotionally and physically drained. Clay takes a seat next to him and says, “Go to sleep. You have about two hours until the meeting with the lawyer.”</p>
<p>Justin looks like he’s going to protest but he tosses an arm around his shoulders and pulls him closer. The younger boy tenses up and for a moment he’s afraid he’s done something wrong but then the muscles slowly relax and Justin is out after that, sound asleep smashed against him.</p>
<p>He’s heavy too, dead weight against his side and he wishes he had grabbed the TV remote. Instead he manages to fish his phone out and scrolls through a news site to avoid social media and the mountain of messages he has asking questions he can’t answer, mostly from people he wouldn’t answer anyway. </p>
<p>By the time Justin wakes up, Mom is taking him to see the prosecutor for more interviews. The good news is that he seems better, a little less fragile but the bad news is that these meetings always leave him feeling vulnerable and the emotions raw so that when he comes back, he’s lost in his own world of misery. </p>
<p>His phone buzzes shortly after they leave and pulls him from his thoughts. Zach’s face appears on the display and a cryptic message below telling him to come to the school’s parking lot tonight. He frowns but when he asks why he doesn’t get an answer so much as Zach telling him to just come. He puts it away for the moment and rubs his face. Life suddenly seems much harder than it used to and he finds himself wishing for the summer to come back, when nothing ever seemed too broken to fix and the biggest problem they had was milking the days and nights for as much time as they could while their freedom lasted.</p>
<p>Getting out ends up being pretty easy. He texts Zach and tells him that if he wants this secrecy nonsense he’d better come pick him up and drop him off back at home because he can’t get out for too much time. Zach replies he’ll be around the block from Clay’s house in ten minutes. After getting that he just walks out the front door. Tells Dad he needs to take a walk and clear his head and promises to be back before ten. It’s eight thirty and he hopes whatever this is won’t take more than an hour and a half. When he leaves Mom and Justin are on the couch watching a movie, probably a distraction to help Justin relax, so he feels pretty safe that he won’t be needed for a bit anyway.</p>
<p>Zach makes good on picking him up but still doesn’t say anything even when he parks away from the school and they walk onto the grounds. He can hear Mom telling him that trespassing is illegal but whatever this is, clearly it’s more important.</p>
<p>They head towards the sports fields, Zach leading the way of course, and him following behind, annoyed at the silence until they come to a shed between the baseball field and football stadium. Zach reaches for the combination lock and to his surprise opens it.</p>
<p>“This is the Clubhouse.”</p>
<p>He enters and Clay follows, Zach switches on a light and reveals a surprisingly spacious room with a couch, a few other places to sit, a table, and a ton of sports and lawn care equipment. </p>
<p>“Okay.” He really has no idea why Zach is telling him this.</p>
<p>“Bryce brings the guys here, only members of the football and baseball teams and not all of them, he’s careful about it, usually. So were the upperclassmen before him.”</p>
<p>He looks around the room, a few beer cans are pushed under the couch and he thinks the weird thing he sees on the table is a bong. He moves a little further in because something catches his eye and he finds a broken needle pushed into the corner along with an empty vial of something that he doesn’t want to check.</p>
<p>He turns his attention back to Zach who’s sifting through a pile of equipment on a table but it seems wrong, something about the movements is frantic and agitated and finally he says with a mixture of horror and surprise, “It’s not here.”</p>
<p>He spins around to face Clay. “There should be a box here, a box of Polaroid photos of people who have come in here.”</p>
<p>There’s a certain meaning in his words but Clay doesn’t get it. So what? Why is a box of photos so important? </p>
<p>“Several show Bryce having sex with girls who aren’t-conscious.”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>Zach nods uncomfortably. “Yea.”</p>
<p>“So where is it?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Bryce must have gotten here and moved it. It’s gone.”</p>
<p>He sounds frustrated and devastated but Clay’s just kind of numb, Zach knew? Knew that Bryce was a monster and an animal and that Justin was in danger and-</p>
<p>“You never said anything.”</p>
<p>Zach shook his head.</p>
<p>“Why! You could have stopped all of this from every happening you could have-”</p>
<p>“When it started out, Bryce had all the power. Not over me but over Justin, so I guess over me in a way. Justin needed to be safe and that meant Bryce because Bryce could do things for him I never could, pay for food and bills, and he could give Justin somewhere safe to escape to that was away from Amber and her boyfriends. If I turned Bryce in, Justin lost all of that and maybe it’s wrong but I’d do it again-for Justin.”</p>
<p>He could almost forgive Zach for that. He doesn’t know if he agrees or not. He knows he should say he’d never have done the same thing because it could have been Hannah or Jess or anyone that Bryce got at and that protecting Justin at the cost of keeping Bryce's secret was wrong but it’s deeper than that. “He’s been living with me for months now.”</p>
<p>And Zach looks at him with such regret that Clay almost feels bad for him. “I got complacent. I didn’t like what Bryce did but I was so used to ignoring it that the idea of turning him in didn’t even cross my mind. I never-I thought Justin meant something to him. Not a lot, but enough that Bryce would never do anything to him.”</p>
<p>The pain in the other boy’s voice is incredible and it makes more sense after Zach continues. “I messed up. I thought Justin was safe and I was willing to ignore all of the other people who weren’t for him and it failed. My only consolation after hearing what Casey said was I thought I could do this, that I could kill any chance Bryce had of winning this case but I couldn’t get away long enough to come get them and Bryce must have gotten to them already.”</p>
<p>As Zach takes a step forward he kicks something. A set of keys slide across the floor and settle between them. He moves to pick them up and looks at Zach thoughtfully. “Maybe not.”</p>
<p>He holds the keys out and they don’t have a car key hanging from them, only one for a building.</p>
<p>Zach looks at it and shakes his head. “I don’t see how this helps.”</p>
<p>“I think I have an idea for it. Leave it to me. I think I have a way for us to find out who has those photos.”</p>
<p>Zach looks skeptical but then it softens. “Can’t hurt.”</p>
<p>“No it can’t. We're going to make sure Bryce never gets out of jail.”</p>
<p>They don’t talk anymore as they get back in Zach’s car and drive back to his place. He can see a plan forming in his mind. It should work in getting them the person the keys belong to. He isn’t sure what they’ll do with the information, even if it wasn’t Bryce who took them, he’s sure if was one of his cronies and they’re as good as gone anyway if that’s the case. Still, maybe, just maybe, they aren’t out of reach yet and can be found. If they’re what Zach’s says they are, they’re nothing short of proof that Bryce is a monster, and that’s all they need.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And welcome to another chapter. I believe with this we are officially halfway through the final part and here we start to shift into the next phase of the story. That shift will be fully realized next chapter. This one sets up the very public outing of what happened at the party as well as Clay and Zach trying to find the Polaroids. </p>
<p>The next four chapters will follow a pattern, half in court and half out of court. Justin will narrate next chapter and it should be out in about a week.</p>
<p>I hope you all enjoy reading this and let me know what you think in the comments below! Big thanks to De_la_Cruz87 for beta reading this for me.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. To War</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The trail begins two weeks after Casey's announcement. Justin had been hoping it would start off on a better foot but at least someone's around to help lift his spirits when things don't go how he wanted.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It turns out that the trial is set up pretty simply despite the nearly two weeks of preparation. Lainie explained how it would all go down with opening remarks followed by witness testimonies. As a witness he isn’t in there for the opening statements but he knows what will be said, at least the prosecution's side. The arguments are simple, Bryce raped two people and should be put in prison, the majority of the evidence comes from him and Jess. She tells him not to worry because as long as he told the truth, and she believed that he has and will continue to, then everything will work out. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to not worry though, the whole case basically rides on him and Jess and since he’s going first, it feels like he’s setting the tone for the entire trail, that if he gives a weak performance, it’ll sabotage everything that comes after.</p>
<p>She also tells him the defense, she expects, will work to poke holes in their story but that it shouldn’t matter because they’ll have the truth on their side. The only surprising thing is the sheer number of character witnesses that the defense recruits to help Bryce. There’s a long list of depositions from Senators and Representatives, community leaders and locals that the jury will be able to read over while considering their decision while Coach Rick is speaking on Bryce’s behalf. Monty is too and it hurts even thinking about. He tries not to but his brain usually circles back to it at some point no matter how hard he tries to avoid the line of thought because disappointment and suffocating sadness are always the result. Maybe he should be angry that he wasted his time trying to help Monty but mostly he feels like he failed the other boy, that he couldn’t convince him that there’s so much more to life than helping someone he doesn’t even like, or at least doesn’t trust.</p>
<p>Testifying gives him a break from thinking about Monty but it’s hardly a welcomed one. Last night he didn’t sleep at all despite his best attempts. His nerves kept him from relaxing while his brain came up with a thousand different ways for everything to go down and none of them were very good.</p>
<p>Once sitting in the witness seat, he responds mechanically as he’s sworn in. His name, age, and then the events of the party. The prosecutor is a man named Dennis. Justin guesses he likes the man enough but he asks painful questions, even if they’re very to the point. He asks about the party briefly in general and then on to the rapes. It’s hard recounting them even now, especially with Bryce sitting in front of him, wearing glasses and watching him with big, sad eyes. He avoids looking at the other boy, willing himself to do anything but glance in his direction.</p>
<p>He’s asked if at any point he consented to what happened to him, if he said no, if he tried to fight, all meant to establish that this was not wanted. It’s unpleasant but he gets through it and the questions about Jess which follow much the same but with slightly different answers.</p>
<p>And then examination ends and the part he’s truly been dreading starts, the cross examination. The Walker’s lawyer is an older man, round but not fat exactly, and looking very much like what he would expect a lawyer to look like but less slimy. He’s supposed to be famous and expensive, according to Lainie he’s a smart man and good at his job as long as he isn’t thrown off his game. She and Dennis spent hours coaching him on what to say but he didn’t do well even only facing them.</p>
<p>“Justin Foley, can you tell me about your relationship with the defendant?”</p>
<p>His palms are sweating but he says, “He was my best friend since we met when I was eight.”</p>
<p>“Can you tell us about how you met?”</p>
<p>“It was at school, during lunch. He was a grade above me so we didn’t have class together. I was fighting with some kids on the playground. They were making fun of me and Bryce came in and told them to leave. After that we went inside to eat and he shared some of his lunch with me.” The memory is painful because he can replay it as if it happened hours ago and not years. Bryce’s smile, the sound of his voice and laugh, all of it imprinted on his mind as one of the most important moments in it, even now it still holds a spot close to his heart.</p>
<p>“He shared lunch with you?”</p>
<p>“My mom didn’t have a lot of money so I usually didn’t have lunch. She made too much for me to get free lunch but it still wasn’t enough, so he shared his with me.”</p>
<p>“That was very nice of him. Did he do it often after that?”</p>
<p>“Yes. He used to joke I was mean when I was hungry so he started bringing a bigger lunch so we could share.”</p>
<p>“Did you ever ask him to?”</p>
<p>He frowns, not sure he likes where this is going but he replies, “No, he just did it.” In those days he never had to ask, Bryce knew and did, sometimes with a joke, but more often with a smile and a few words to calm his anger.</p>
<p>“And would you say he was often generous like that?”</p>
<p>“Yes, especially when we were younger. I didn’t have to ask, he just knew and offered.”</p>
<p>From there the lawyer goes through a very quick set of questions for all the things Bryce has done for him, asking about Bryce bailing Mom out of jail...twice, the food and clothes he provided, bills he’s paid or helped pay, the more expensive and nice things, sneakers, and technology and things he wanted but didn’t need.</p>
<p>He glances at Lainie, sitting the crowd of witnesses looking serene. It makes him feel a little better because he has a feeling something bad is coming very soon and seeing her gives him some confidence that he’ll make it through this. Unfortunately he also glances at Matt who looks worried and unnerved and that shakes him a little. Clay is sitting on the edge of his seat pretty much glaring at the back of the man’s head and that nearly makes him freak out but he looks back at Lainie who gives him a small smile and nod. He focuses on her instead.</p>
<p>“And have you ever paid back any of this money? Or given Mr. Walker anything in return?”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t-”</p>
<p>“So would you say that the nature of your relationship with the defendant is one of you taking from him.”</p>
<p>“I guess but-”</p>
<p>“And I understand you’ve had a fairly recent change to living accommodations?”</p>
<p>Lainie looks angry at the comment, Matt and Clay just look confused, at least he isn’t alone.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Why don’t you tell me about that?”</p>
<p>He glances at Dennis who stands up and says “Objection: relevancy.”</p>
<p>“Please your Honor, this is important and will only take a moment.”</p>
<p>“Denied, make it quick.”</p>
<p>“My mother passed away-I’ve been living with the Jensens, they're my foster family.”</p>
<p>“And how would you compare life with them to life before?”</p>
<p>Laine’s eyebrow twitches ever so slightly.</p>
<p>“Easier? I miss Mom but I don’t have to worry about a lot of things I did when living with her. It didn’t-I still miss her bu-”</p>
<p>“What sort of things do you not have to worry about?”</p>
<p>He frowns but answers, “Food, bills, getting everything done in one day, her boy friends.”</p>
<p>“So would you say mostly money related things?”</p>
<p>“I guess but-”</p>
<p>“And how has this change affected your relationship with the defendant?”</p>
<p>He has absolutely no idea what he’s supposed to say or what the point is, his relationship with Bryce was a little tense but that was his fault, between losing Mom and the sudden unheval of everything he’s ever really known, he had neglected Bryce, spent more time at home with the Jensens, and most of his free time with Jess and Zach.</p>
<p>“I-it was weird. I had things to do at home and I spent a lot of time there, I liked being there, and when I wasn’t there I was usually with my friends and girlfriend; my step brother didn’t like Bryce very much so it was kind of awkward to hang out with him but we were still friends.”</p>
<p>“And you didn’t need his money anymore?”</p>
<p>He stiffens, why is this man talking about money so much? Bryce’s money was nice but he never liked the older boy for his money, never. </p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“About the night you claim this happened, you were at a party I understand?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“And there was drinking?”</p>
<p>“There was.”</p>
<p>“And you participated?”</p>
<p>“I had some.”</p>
<p>“How about the others? The defendant and the Prosecution's other witness?”</p>
<p>“They were both pretty drunk.”</p>
<p>“Would you say to the point where you were the one with the clearest memories of what happened?”</p>
<p>“I would.”</p>
<p>“And prior to this happening, what would you say was the nature of your relationship with the defendant?”</p>
<p>“He was my best friend”</p>
<p>“So why would he do what you claim?”</p>
<p>“I-I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“And the incident you say happened long before you made it known, why is that?”</p>
<p>“I was afraid and confused and-I loved Bryce, I didn’t understand why he did-that to me and to Jess. And I didn’t want anyone else to know because I thought-I wanted to cover that it happened-I was ashamed and scared that if people found out they’d be angry with me, blame for what happened and that I might lose everything.”</p>
<p>“But you say you didn’t consent to it happening, so how could you be blamed for it?”</p>
<p>“I didn’t think straight, I was scared and hurt and it felt like I failed.”</p>
<p>“That’s a weak excuse, surely if things happened the way you’ve testified to, you would have known you did everything in your power to stop this.”</p>
<p>“That’s not-”</p>
<p>“No further questions.”</p>
<p>The man then turns to address the jury. “And this ladies and gentlemen is the point. The witness’s relationship with the defendant is based on one thing and one thing alone, money. You’ve heard from his own mouth how much money he’s taken over the years with no thought of paying back. Money that the defendant gave often without being asked to a friend who was in need. The witness became accustomed to these handouts and so, even when the need was gone, the desire was still there. It was enough, in conjunction with being in an environment that despised the defendant, to concoct this story. It would have been easy based on his testimony, the only other people involved were severely impaired, and so much time passed before he spoke about it that he would have had plenty of time to cook up this story.”</p>
<p>He goes to say something but a look from Lainie stops him. It isn’t his time to speak, he already had that.</p>
<p>Instead he leaves the stand feeling like something worse than any outcome he daydreamed up has happened. It’s miserable and he can’t stand to look at anyone as he pushes past them and out of the courtroom. Jess is testifying later and he has to be there for that but right now he just wants to be alone and miserable.</p>
<p>The park across the street from the courtroom seems as good a place as any, he finds a spot to sit and wish he wasn’t a person anymore. He ignores his phone, choosing instead to close his eyes and try not to cry. The one thing he didn’t want to do, and he does it. He might have killed the whole case single handedly and before it even has a chance to get off the ground. He knows he should probably get back for Jess because she’ll be going soon and he should be there but he can’t bring himself to move, his body feels like lead and anyway who’s to say she’ll even want him there after how bad he did.</p>
<p>He’s finally gotten to pleasantly numb when a shadow falls across him. He panics, thinking maybe Bryce has found him but a gentle voice dispels that. </p>
<p>“I thought you would be inside. Isn’t Jess supposed to be giving her testimony soon?”</p>
<p>Zach. He opens his eyes and watches the older boy take a seat next to him. “Or should I assume that this didn’t go as well as you thought?”</p>
<p>“I didn’t think it would go well but it was worse than I expected.”</p>
<p>“Tell me about it?”</p>
<p>“I-it went well with Dennis but then Bry-the Walkers lawyer came on and he-he thought I made it all up.”</p>
<p>Zach snorts, “Anyone who knows you knows you didn’t.”</p>
<p>“That isn’t the point. The jury doesn’t know me, or Jess, or Bryce. They’re going on only what they hear and I-I don’t think I convinced them.”</p>
<p>The other boy looks at him thoughtfully and then says, “I’m sure you did more than enough because I know you and I know that you couldn’t have possibly told this story in any way other than one that would leave an impression on the jury.”</p>
<p>He opens his mouth but Zach talks first, “And I know that no matter how some old wind bag twists what you said, he has to fight against the truth and that has to mean something.”</p>
<p>Once again he’s reminded of just how much he loves Zach and how he can say so much in so few words. The older boy drapes an arm around his shoulder and he leans against him for a moment, content.</p>
<p>Zach shifts too soon but with a good point. “We should go in. I’m sure Jess is looking for you in the crowd.”</p>
<p>He lets the older boy pull him up and they go in together. The dread is back, but it’s more manageable now. He has Zach with him, they’re going to sit with Clay, Matt, and Lainie, and they’ll be there for Jess. Zach’s right, he told the truth, he couldn’t do any more, it’s up to the jury to decide what happens now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So fun fact, the next three or so chapters are the 'shit on Dennis' game. I have no problem with this because in the show he was laughably useless and so here he will be too. That said, all of the next chapters are going to follow a bit of a pattern, there will be a part in court dealing with a character testifying, and then there will be a part outside the courtroom dealing with other story lines and personal relationships between characters. This chapter is Justin's testimony and a conversation between him and Zach. originally the conversation was supposed to be Zach wondering why he had to find out about what happened to Justin from Casey but I couldn't make that work because of timeline shifts I made and so it turned out to be a better conversation, hopefully.</p>
<p>Next chapter is Jess's testimony and should be in about a week. There will be more to the chapter than that of course but her testimony is the biggest part.</p>
<p>Hopefully you all enjoy and happy reading. Let me know what you think in the comments below and thanks to De_la_Cruz87 for her help beta reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Competing Schemers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As the trial progresses, Clay observes some strange things around school, follows leads he and Zach find at the clubhouse, and hopes to throw a wrench in the defense’s plans.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The two weeks between Casey’s bombshell and the start of the trail are some of the longest of his life. On one hand they are painfully mundane, he goes to school, hangs out with Justin and Tony, goes on dates with Hannah, all normal things he would do anyway that seem to contradict what’s supposed to be happening. On the other hand, there’s a sort of tension around the school, Casey tries to stir up as much trouble as she can between staging rallies and a sit in during a wrestling competition. He personally thinks she would have rathered a more important sport but their between seasons so its her only option and when he sees a video of her and Monty staring each other down and he almost roots for Monty to punch her in the face because it would solve two of his problems at once, getting rid of both of them for a bit in one go. Speaking of Monty, the jocks are different too. Splintered is the best way he can describe it. Ones like Jeff and Luke obviously believe Justin and stop spending time with Bryce. Some like Monty clearly have no soul and defend Bryce publicly and obnoxiously. Some seem too wishy washy to pick a side or decide for themselves what they believe and float in the middle.</p>
<p>He and Zach have their own mission of course and the first part of his plan for the keys works out perfectly, simple as it was. He gave them to the secretary for lost and found during school the next day and then waited until dismissal for the opportunity he knew was coming. Justin was suspended that day so he had to collect his brother’s work from the office, giving him an easy excuse to go back. While he’s picking up the work, he casually asks if the keys were ever returned and the secretary nods distractedly from behind her computer and said Scott Reed claimed them. His heart sunk a little at the news because Scott hadn’t been as overt as Monty in his support for Bryce but it was obvious who’s side he was on. Still he and Zach watched and waited to try to corner the other boy and talk to him, see if they could convince him to give them the photos. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, Scott sticks pretty close to Bryce and makes himself unapproachable. The only time he thinks he catches Scott away from Bryce is during class. He’s sitting staring out the door, bored out of his mind and he’s pretty sure he sees Scott walk past. </p>
<p>Despite raising his hand right away to go to the bathroom, the teacher takes far too long to call on him and let him go and by the time he gets into the hall, he’s lost the boy he’s supposed to be following. The only place he can think to check is the bathroom and he’s on his way there when he gets side tracked. </p>
<p>Angry voices come from the blackroom and without thinking, he swings the heavy door open and finds Monty threatening Tyler Down. The photographer's so pale Clay’s a little worried there isn't any blood getting to his head. </p>
<p>“What are you doing.” He tries to make it sound like a demand and not a question but he’s working pretty hard not to show any physical signs of fear because he thinks his knees might be shaking. He probably should have thought that out a little better cause Monty can tear him in half which makes drawing attention to himself a terrible idea, especially when the other boy whirls around with a dark look. </p>
<p>“Get out Jensen. We’re having a private conversation.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think I should.” He sounds a lot more confident that he feels and crosses his arms hoping to look intimidating somehow.</p>
<p>A growl and Monty turns to look at Tyler one more time before storming to the door and pushing him out of the way.</p>
<p>He watches Monty stalk down the hallway and round the corner before turning back to Tyler who’s still leaning against the wall with an ashen complexion. “You good?”</p>
<p>“Yea-I will be.”</p>
<p>“What did he want?”</p>
<p>“Nothing.”</p>
<p>Clay looks him up and down suspiciously. “Didn’t look like nothing.”</p>
<p>Tyler looks away, “Don’t worry about it Clay, he just needed help with something.”</p>
<p>“You hate Monty.”</p>
<p>“I’m also the school's photographer, if he wants special shots of the upcoming match, I am the person he needs to ask.”</p>
<p>Clay looks at him suspiciously but Tyler rolls his eyes and turns around to hang up some photos to dry. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”</p>
<p>He huffs and leaves to go to the bathroom like he was doing before getting sidetracked but it’s too late. By the time he gets there, it’s empty and with a sigh, he makes his way back to class feeling like he wasted time.</p>
<p>He feels that wasted time more acutely now, watching Justin leave the witness stand. If he had focused on Scott then, maybe he could have gotten the photos and made this case an easy win, showing Bryce to be the monster he is to everyone without a doubt. But he didn’t so instead Justin comes over to them looking utterly miserable and stays only long enough to mumble something about needing the bathroom. He almost goes after him before Mom catches his sleeve and shakes her head.</p>
<p>“I think he needs some time to himself. He’ll be back when he’s ready.”</p>
<p>With a sigh, he resigns himself to sitting down, not happy but it doesn’t look like he has much say in the matter. Instead he focuses on Jess as she comes into the room looking like she owns the world. That doesn’t stop his heart from pounding in his chest while she gets sworn in. Justin’s testimony didn’t go nearly as well as he thought it would and now he’s kind of terrified. He thought when the case was launched that it would be cut and dry, who could defend <i>Bryce</i> and more to the point, how could anyone question Justin? He’s never liked that his brother was so close to Bryce but that’s partly because he was a little jealous of how much Justin adored him. Someone questioning that, suggesting that Justin has been playing some really long, twisted game to get as much out of Bryce as possible sickens him and even worse, he thinks it might have worked and he’s worried about what’ll happen to Jess.</p>
<p>Dennis goes first and his questions are pretty much the same to her as they were to Justin. He lets Jess tell her story, about how the night happened and about what Bryce did to her and it’s the first time he’s heard the whole thing from her perspective and it strikes him how the facts are the same but the emotions are different when she tells it versus Justin. She’s angry, refusing to look at Bryce and give him any kind of satisfaction but drives home the point that he’s a monster. It’s so different from the halting, mournful way Justin tells it, pensive and full of regret and Clay honestly hates it because he can’t help but think Justin feels responsible for this somehow despite everything.</p>
<p>When Dennis finishes, the defense starts cross examination.</p>
<p>“Jessica, can you tell me about your relationship with Justin Foley?”</p>
<p>“He’s my boyfriend.”</p>
<p>“I understand as much, I want to know more about it. How do you feel about him?”</p>
<p>“I love him.”</p>
<p>Justin slides in next to him and he has to slide down further to accommodate Zach who comes in with Justin. His brother gives Jess a tight smile while Zach flashes her a thumbs up.</p>
<p>“Based on what?”</p>
<p>She looks at the man like he’s possibly the stupidest person in the world. Clay wishes he could agree but Jess wasn’t allowed to be here for Justin’s testimony so she doesn’t know this asshole is more competent than he looks. Then she glances at them and for a second her whole face softens as she makes eye contact with Justin. </p>
<p>She turns back to the attorney and replies, “ Justin is one of the best people I’ve ever known and we love each other.”</p>
<p>Next to him he can almost feel the joy coming off Justin.</p>
<p>“And that love is based on trust, correct?”</p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>“So Justin doesn’t lie to you, or withhold information?” </p>
<p>She snorts. “Everyone has secrets but Justin tells me what concerns us as a couple, like Bryce raping us in my bedroom.”</p>
<p>The man totally ignores the last part in favor of whatever awful plan he has in his head. “So you knew when he was living with the Jensens while his mother abandoned him?”</p>
<p>“No but-”</p>
<p>“And you wouldn’t classify that as something that concerns you as a couple? The fact that he was in a juvenile hall? Or the fact that social services should have taken him to a boys’ home where he belonged?”</p>
<p>Justin squirms next to him and it makes him furious that this man is making all these judgements about who Justin is and where he belongs.</p>
<p>“You don’t get to decide where Justin belongs.” Her eyes burn and Clay kind of wishes looks could kill because it would be nice if this man dropped dead right now.</p>
<p>“So he told you himself?”</p>
<p>“No I learned about it when some asshole in the school told everyone.”</p>
<p>“And so you, his girlfriend that he loves and trusts, didn’t learn any sooner about this monumental change in circumstance which could have enormous repercussions on your relationship?”</p>
<p>Justin seems to be trying to fuse with the bench and under other circumstances it might be funny.</p>
<p>He thinks he can hear Jess’s teeth grind against each other as she bites out, “No.”
</p><p>The man nods satisfied, “And now tell me about this party where the alleged incident happened.”</p>
<p>“Alleged incident! He raped Justin and I and yo-”</p>
<p>“We’re here to determine what actually happened. I understand there was drinking.”</p>
<p>“There was.”</p>
<p>“And everyone there was underaged.”</p>
<p>“They were.”</p>
<p>“And you participated heavily in the drinking.”</p>
<p>“I did.”</p>
<p>“I’m going to read you a part of your deposition and you tell me if it’s correct: ‘I was drinking heavily that night and when Justin and I went up to my room, I passed out. I remember coming to and feeling someone leaning over me and having the feeling someone was inside of me. I thought at the time it was Justin.’ Are these your words?”</p>
<p>“You’re only reading the part you want! What about-”</p>
<p>“Are they your words or not?”</p>
<p>“They are but-”</p>
<p>“No further questions.” He turns to face the jury and continues. “And there you have it ladies and gentlemen, the witness doesn’t actually know what happened the night of the alleged incident. In her own words, all she remembers is the feeling of someone on top of her but she believed it to be the prosecution's other witness until <i>he</i> told her differently and she was convinced he told her the truth but as we’ve already established, there are holes in his story and that means there are holes in hers as well.”</p>
<p>Coming back from the courthouse feels all wrong. He imagined it would be triumphant, that Justin and Jess would have proved their points and had the jury eating out of their hands. Instead it feels like all of their pain is being laughed at because Dennis kind of sucks and Bryce’s lawyer is the lowest of the low and exactly the kind of person who would defend Bryce. </p>
<p>He can’t help the feeling of defeat that sits in his stomach and Mom and Dad don’t seem to know what to do either. Dad goes to make dinner while Mom sits with Justin in the living room. Oddly enough, now is when he gets a frantic phone call from Zach telling him to come to some little gas station in the sixties immediately. Once he hangs up he tells Dad he’ll be back later and manages to get there faster than he thought.</p>
<p>He finds Zach in the parking lot easily, his Audi very conspicuous among the neighborhood vehicles. When Clay approaches he gets out.</p>
<p>“Alright, what’s going on? Why did I need to get here so soon?’</p>
<p>He points up the hill past the parking lot. “Scott’s up there.”</p>
<p>Glancing up dubious he replies, “Are you sure? There’s nothing up there.”</p>
<p>“I saw him go up.”</p>
<p>That’s hard to argue with, he shrugs and then says, “What were you doing here?”
	</p><p>A slight blush and he reaches into the bag on the car seat and pulls out a bag of candy...that looks like coke bottles. Oh that’s their name, how original and a box of Hot Tamales. “May and I wanted candy but this is the only store that sells our favorites.”</p>
<p>“Oh. Let’s go.”</p>
<p>Zach seems happy enough with that and they climb the short hill past dry brush. Once past the crest they find an old industrial complex? It’s the best guess he can give. A maze of concrete walls covered in colorful graffiti, a dirt floor, and no roof or doors in sight. There are a couple metal folding chairs, some milk creates, and he thinks past that he can see a tent, whatever it is, it’s bright blue and fabric.</p>
<p>They enter one of the openings and walk down a wide passage past what he confirms is a tent. Next to him Zach wears a guarded expression. The complex turns out to be fairly large but it seems only a small part of it is actively used, and by whom he can’t figure out exactly. Past the tent they only find another chair or so that implies anyone having been there recently and it isn’t until they circle back to the entrance and find one of the previously unused seats occupied.</p>
<p>Scott looks them up and down, a cigarette dangling from between his fingers lazily, and then asks bluntly, “The fuck are you doing here?”</p>
<p>Zach speaks up before he does. “Where are the polaroids?”</p>
<p>Scott takes a drag and then exhales, “Dunno.” His eyes shift from Zach to him and then back. “You told Jensen about them?”</p>
<p>“I should have told a lot of people a long time ago.”</p>
<p>He hums and then says, “I don’t have them, no one knows who does. Bryce freaked the fuck out when he went to collect them and found they were gone and then demanded to know who moved them. We thought you took them honestly but then nothing was said about them so it looks like they disappeared into the void.”</p>
<p>“We found your keys in the clubhouse the night Casey made her announcement. You didn’t drop them while you were stealing them?”</p>
<p>He gets an annoyed look as Scott takes another drag of what he now realizes is totally a blunt and the smell that finally hits him almost makes him cough. “Let me think...no.”</p>
<p>“Scott we need those photos, for Justin.”</p>
<p>He raises an eyebrow. “For Justin? What makes Justin different from all those girls who are in the photos Zachy? You didn’t do anything to help before, why should Justin be so different?”</p>
<p>“I’d do anything for him.” The response is immediate and with an intensity that makes Clay wonder just how far Zach would go for Justin.</p>
<p>In contrast, Scott looks him up and down in silence for a long time before finally saying, “I believe you, and if I had them, I might even give them to you.”</p>
<p>Anger. How can Scott say something like that? Say it like he could ever understand their position but not agree with them? It’s ludicrous! He steps forward to speak before he even thinks. “How can you do that? How can you protect Bryce over one of your own?” </p>
<p>He shrugs. “It’s not that simple.”</p>
<p>“Seems pretty simple to me.”</p>
<p>Scott looks both of them over. “It would. You two are safe, your parents have money, enough to make sure you’ll never go to bed hungry and you can go home without having to worry about what they’ll do to you or what they’ll say about you or to you,” he pauses to gesture around the area with his blunt, “this is the hobo hotel. Monty found it when he was ten and needed to hide away from his old man. He lets me use it when I’m tired of listening to my folks argue over whose fault it is that I’m a fuck up. Problem with this place is it’s just a tent on the ground, not safe in the winter cause of the cold, not safe in the summer cause of fires.”</p>
<p>“And?” He doesn’t get what all of this has to do with Bryce.</p>
<p>“And he lets you stay sometimes doesn't he?” Apparently Zach does.</p>
<p>A nod, “Sometimes, usually after a party or hanging out but when he’s feeling generous it can be without those. I don’t give a shit about Bryce, but I do about Monty and until someone else comes around who can offer him a better deal, and me too, I’ll hang around Bryce.” He looks right at Zach and then says “My Justin isn’t out of the woods yet, and neither am I and that may be how Bryce gets away with so much, but are we supposed to choose someone else over ourselves?”</p>
<p>“You sound like you’re doing it for Monty not yourself.”</p>
<p>“Maybe I am, but you’re doing this for Justin, not yourselves.”</p>
<p>He wrinkles his nose. The idea of comparing Monty to Justin is utterly absurd. Monty chose his fate, he’s a dick and before this conversation he would have said no one likes him but apparently there is someone who does.</p>
<p>Scott exhales a mouthful of smoke and then says, “I like Justin enough, he’s always been a nice kid and I believe him but he’s got so many people on his side, and he did even before his mom died. He can get through this. People like Monty, they’ve only got one life line that doesn’t even care about them. Bryce uses everyone, but Justin has a choice now, he can get away. Monty can’t.”</p>
<p>He opens his mouth but Zach’s arm on his shoulder stops him. “You’d really do all of this for Monty?”</p>
<p>“Every time.”</p>
<p>“Have you ever told him?”</p>
<p>A pause and then, “Monty isn’t the kind of person you tell that sort of thing to.”</p>
<p>“Bryce isn’t the sort of person who gets charged with sexual assault.”</p>
<p>Another pause and then. “Maybe you’re right.”</p>
<p>Silence reigns for a minute until Zach says, “I hope you get what you want.”</p>
<p>Scott has a sort of sad expression on his face as he replies, “I hope when all of this is over, we know how to live with ourselves.”</p>
<p>They leave after that. He feels confused but he waits until he and Zach are seated in the other boy’s car to say, “Why’d you just let him go?”</p>
<p>“He didn’t have what we wanted.”</p>
<p>“You believe him?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Why? He could easily be lying! He-”</p>
<p>“He wasn’t. He wouldn’t have looked so relieved when we didn’t have them if he already knew where they were.”</p>
<p>He opens his mouth to say something but stutters, he can’t find the words that he wants until he finally settles on, “You said you hope he gets what he wants even though that’s counter to what we want.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think so. I think he wants himself and Monty safe and happy. I wanted the same thing for Justin and myself, for over a year I stared at the ceiling of my room hoping for it but with no expectation of it ever happening. It felt awful, I thought-I expected Justin to die young, and he did too, so even though I’ve never liked Monty and don’t know Scott that well, I want that dream of his to come true. Monty doesn’t deserve safety from his dad any less than Justin from Amber’s boyfriends.”</p>
<p>“He’s protecting Bryce.”</p>
<p>“Bryce is protecting him.”</p>
<p>And he doesn’t really have a reply for that. He isn’t happy about it but it’s true. They don’t talk anymore as Zach drives him home. Dad asks him where he's been but doesn’t push when he gives a non-answer. He eats dinner alone since he missed everyone else and then heads upstairs. Justin is in the shower and when he comes out, it’s obvious he had been in there a long time. They don’t talk, just take a seat on his bed. He opens his laptop and puts a movie on knowing neither of them will be watching it in the slightest. He feels empty, like everything has been for nothing and Bryce is going to get away with it. It’s depressing but he turns over what Scott said in his mind. Justin isn’t alone, far from it. Jess isn’t either. They will get through this even if justice isn’t done. It’s a cold reassurance that Bryce won’t ever truly win but right now it’s better than anything else he has as Justin works progressively closer to him. He wraps an arm around the other boy and wishes again he could have done more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And welcome to a new chapter! This might be the longest chapter in this part so far just because in my plans I had a lot I needed Clay to do during the trial and this was the only opportunity I had for him to do it. So we spend some time going back and seeing the past two weeks from his perspective, then go on to see the end of Justin's testimony, then see Jess's and finally have more of his story with Zach.</p>
<p>Next chapter should be out in a week and it's going to be Bryce's testimony, you may want to bring a doggy bag to that reading it will be gross.</p>
<p>I hope you all enjoy and happy reading as always. I love comments so anything you want to say down below is appreciated and a big thank you to De_la_Cruz87 for her help beta reading this chapter and you should all go over and check out her story!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Crocodile Tears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bryce takes the stand and it goes about as well as Justin expects. He isn't even upset, not really, that doesn't come until an unfortunate meeting in the bathrooms at school. At least Jess is around after to make life better.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Justin watches as Bryce takes the stand and is sworn in. He feels numb, Lainie was surprised when she learned he was taking the stand in his own defense and he had been too but now he doesn’t feel anything. Bryce is a good talker, he’ll spin this however he wants and it won’t bode well for them. He kind of hates to admit it but he isn’t sure he thinks Dennis’s cross examination will have any kind of effect on Bryce either so he’s pretty much trying to prepare himself for the worst.</p>
<p>“Can you tell me about your relationship with Justin Foley?”</p>
<p>Bryce looks at him and he meets the other boy's eyes. He isn’t afraid or ashamed, he’s just sort of tired and sad. </p>
<p>“He was my best friend, my only friend for a long time.”</p>
<p>“And would you say that relationship was important to you?”</p>
<p>“Yes. I-when we were younger his friendship meant everything to me. I felt like he was the only person who ever understood me.”</p>
<p>“Why is that?”</p>
<p>“I-I don’t know. I just felt sort of isolated from the other kids I knew because I was, richer I guess? And they resented me for that but Justin never did and it was easy. Mostly.”</p>
<p>“Mostly?”</p>
<p>Bryce hesitates and looks so unsure that he hurts inside because not too long ago it would have hurt him to see Bryce look like that and he would have done anything he could have to fix it. Even now he has to crush the feeling that he should say something and has to remind himself that this is an act and not how Bryce really feels.</p>
<p>“I just- sometimes it felt like I was buying his affection.”</p>
<p>“Can you explain that?”</p>
<p>“Well-Justin didn’t have much growing up and his mom wasn’t great so I bought him stuff, or had my parents do it. School supplies and haircuts, clothes, a lot of things. It felt-nice I guess? It made me happy because he would light up whenever I gave him things but it felt like I was paying for his friendship.”</p>
<p>Part of him burns inside because he never asked for any of that and he would have loved Bryce with or without the gifts. At the same time, he remembers the first one like it was yesterday. They had been at Bryce’s house and he doesn’t remember how Bryce knew because he hadn’t told the older boy but it had been his birthday and Bryce had given him a box wrapped in pale blue paper. It had been the first birthday present he had gotten in years and he had been so happy that the fact that it was a hand me down of one of Bryce’s old baseball mitts so that he could have his own for when they played together didn’t matter at all. He remembered hugging Bryce and repeating ‘thank you’ over and over while the older boy laughed and it filled him with a warm feeling. They had only broken apart when Bryce suggested they test the glove out.</p>
<p>The memory hurts now. He wonders if even back then he was just blind to what Bryce was, if the most meaningful relationship for the majority of his life was always a lie and if not, when it started to be one. Bryce taught him so much: how to smile and make people happy and how to love. Without Bryce he wouldn’t be alive in a physical sense, probably, but he would absolutely be dead in an emotional one. He wishes he could turn all of the pain to anger like Jess or at least make it go away but it won’t. Instead he can’t help but feel like he failed. More than anyone else, he should have seen Bryce change and should have stopped him but instead he obviously didn’t notice and the boy he loved more than anyone else for most of his life became some monster he doesn’t recognize.</p>
<p>He tunes back in and it doesn’t take long to figure out they’re still talking about all of the stuff Bryce has bought for him or gave to him. He remembers some, still has a few, and has totally forgotten others, or sold them off when he really needed the money. In the end the lawyer is just driving home his point from before that their relationship was all based on money and material. A decade of friendship, boiled down to dollar bills. He doesn't even have the energy to be sick or disgusted.</p>
<p>“And can you tell me about the night of the alleged incident?”</p>
<p>Bryce’s ears turn red, he never knew the other boy could blush on command.</p>
<p>“Well you’ve already heard a lot about it. It was a house party, lots of drinking, lots of food, music, games in the backyard, all that stuff.”</p>
<p>“I’m more interested in what happened in the bedroom.”</p>
<p>Bryce sighs heavily. “I only had sex with one person.”</p>
<p>“And that was?”</p>
<p>His face reddens more as he replies, “Justin, and it was consensual.”</p>
<p>He can’t even say he’s surprised.</p>
<p>“You say it was consensual? Can you tell us how it happened?”</p>
<p>“Well Justin-has always been a bit-gay? For as long as I’ve known him he’s been very tactile: hugs, shoulder bumps, he always sits close enough to bump knees with you at the table. I always thought-maybe there was something more? But it didn’t ever matter.”</p>
<p>“And then that night?”</p>
<p>Bryce sighs, “That night. I guess he was horny? I mean Jess was passed out when I came in and he wanted more?”</p>
<p>“Why did you go in looking for him?”</p>
<p>Bryce blinks wide eyed and then says, “Something stupid I think. I needed to know where something was, money for beer I think. Jeff was supposed to be going out soon to get more. Anyway he-” Bryce hesitates for a moment, cheeks and nose a pale pink, “when I came in Justin told me Jess was being a tease.”</p>
<p>Now he feels sick but next to him Jess looks like she wants to throw something at him.</p>
<p>“He, well he kind of pushed me up against a wall and kissed me, told me he loved me and he was rubbing himself.”</p>
<p>“And you were okay with this?”</p>
<p>“I mean I was pretty drunk and Justin’s a good looking guy and I guess everyone’s thought about what it’s like on the other side? And I figured if I was ever going to do that I’d want my first time to be with someone I know and trusted.”</p>
<p>He nearly snorts. He remembers being twelve and coming to see Bryce early during the older boy’s first month in high school. Bryce invited him in and immediately started talking about sex, how he had it for the first time and described all of to him in detail. Justin had listened of course, tried to keep up but when he finally got a word in, he asked who she was and Bryce had laughed and replied, ‘I don’t even know her name.’</p>
<p>“So you did?”</p>
<p>“Yea, and I felt a little bad cause Jess and Justin were going out but after we finished- that was it. I left the room and I thought we’d talk about it later, Jess seemed like she might wake up and Justin wanted to hide the evidence I guess, or at least hide me cause there wasn’t any other evidence.”</p>
<p>“And then?”</p>
<p>“And then Monday he just started acting all weird on me but Jeff was in the hospital so I thought it was about that. I tried to reach out but he wasn’t very receptive which was odd but the situation seemed pretty bad and it made sense that he was preoccupied because so was I.” He pauses for a moment and shifts tiredly before continuing. “And then-he didn’t even talk to me. I was arrested coming home from school and didn’t know why until they brought me into the station.”</p>
<p>“That must have been hard for you.”</p>
<p>He thinks maybe Bryce’s eyes are misty behind his glasses but he can’t be sure. He does know that he looks perfectly confused and upset and it makes his heart hurt a little even though he knows Bryce is lying.</p>
<p>“It was. I was scared and embarrassed and then when the police read the charges to me I just felt-betrayed. A decade of being friends and he does this to me? I-” he breaks off to make eye contact and Justin has to try hard to crush every shred of emotion in him because if he feels anything now, it’ll be over. He’ll ask Bryce to forgive him even though it should be the other way around. It almost seems like the older boy is reading his mind because when Bryce continues, it sounds like he knows exactly what Justin is thinking “I’d forgive him though, I still want to be his friend, even after all of this, I miss my friend.”</p>
<p>Jess clenches his hand and Clay is obviously trying to use death ray vision on Bryce with how far forward he’s sitting in his seat.</p>
<p>He just shakes his head. He’s tired.</p>
<p>“Thank you, no further questions.”</p>
<p>Dennis goes up next and focuses on the night it happened but Justin isn’t all that surprised when Bryce makes a bit of a fool out of the man. He wishes Lainie was the prosecutor and from the way her jaw is clenched, she does too. He can’t help but feel Bryce will get away with it, the only people left to testify are Coach Rick and Monty and they come tomorrow. The court has a short secession today because they have other cases to hear so they’re off to school soon even though he won’t be able to pay attention. In a way he’s sort of glad anyway because if he went home he’d just sit there and probably stare at a wall, at least in school he’ll be forced to stand up and move every fortyish minutes.</p>
<p>Unfortunately school turns out to be more exciting than he wanted. He’s in the bathroom when Bryce walks in. It’s just the two of them and he sees the other boy in the mirror before spinning around to face the older boy. His whole body is tense and it feels like he’s frozen like that for an eternity waiting for Bryce to strike but it’s probably only several seconds.</p>
<p>“You look kind of pale Justy. Feeling okay?” There’s a smugness on his face that chills his blood slightly but he keeps repeating that Bryce can’t touch him right now, physically he’s just out of arm's reach and legally it would be suicide for him to try. He’s winning the case, probably, and any contact he initiates could set back the lawyer his dad paid a ton for.</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“Why what?”</p>
<p>“Cut the shit there’s no one here but you and me. Why did you do it?” He hates that his voice is soft, not pleading thankfully but not much better.</p>
<p>“I should ask you the same, why’d you set me up?”</p>
<p>He shakes his head. “Ten years Bryce, was it all a lie?”</p>
<p>“You tell me.”</p>
<p>“Your acting will only get you so far.”</p>
<p>“Maybe, but it’ll be further than your ‘real emotions’ get you.”</p>
<p>He slides past the older boy and is reaching for the door when Bryce says, “You were supposed to be mine Justin. My best friend and brother.”</p>
<p>His hand stops and he turns around slightly to look over the other boy again. “I was. Zach, Jess, not even Clay and his parents changed that.”</p>
<p>“They changed you.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry you felt threatened by me not needing you like I used to but that didn’t change anything. I loved you and I never had any shame in saying so, you loved to point that out.”</p>
<p>“Didn’t feel that way.”</p>
<p>“Goodbye Bryce.”</p>
<p>He leaves, ignoring the other boy’s attempts to continue the conversation.</p>
<p>He wishes it could be that final in his heart but it isn’t. Part of him is frustrated because what Bryce did-he shouldn’t ever forgive and yet the other part of him is realizing that even now he can’t hate Bryce and it makes him feel dirty and disgusted with himself because he should be able to put the other boy out of his head and not think of him with a bittersweetness because it’s more than Bryce will ever deserve but he can’t and it’s frustrating and confusing and he doesn’t like it.</p>
<p>A hand covers his, warm and soft. He lifts his eyes up and he honestly forgot that he was sitting with Jess.</p>
<p>“What are you thinking about?”</p>
<p>He hesitates and then says, “You won’t like it.” And that’s the other thing. Jess, Zach, and especially Clay, they all hate Bryce and for at least Clay it predated this. Part of him can’t help but worry that they’ll think less of him because of this, in a way he’s basically telling Jess he’s picking Bryce over her and he doesn’t really think anyone would understand how he feels, especially because he doesn’t himself!</p>
<p>She sighs, “Is it about the trial? Or about Bryce?”</p>
<p>“Both?”</p>
<p>“The trial will be what it will be. Bryce has money, we probably didn’t have a chance in the first place, not in winning the legal battle. I don’t think we’ve lost everything though. School is different, Bryce isn’t the undisputed king of the world anymore. We’ve done something, maybe just not as much as we hoped.”</p>
<p>He nods. It’s true. Not especially comforting but true.</p>
<p>She continues. “As long as Bryce has people like fucking Monty he’ll still go on acting like he’s king but I think he’s starting to notice there a lot more gaps in his posse that there used to be and girls are no long falling over themselves in the hall for him...or fewer are.” The faint look of disgust on her face tells him exactly what she thinks of the girls who still are. “And HO- well Casey and I still aren’t speaking and I know they’re making life difficult for you but they’re setting up talks and informational meetings and giving out good material for survivors and trying to make the climate at the school better for them.”</p>
<p>He’s lost count of the number of times he’s been booed in the hallways by a bunch of girls he doesn’t even know. They do make life hard and selfishly he wishes he could be rid of them but if they’re helping others like Jess he’s happy about that.</p>
<p>“About Bryce-listen I know there’s a lot between you two that no one else knows about. I can’t forgive him and I won’t stop hating him for what he did to us but I know that it isn’t as simple for you. I want you to agree with me but I know that isn’t fair. I think you need to really think about this, about Bryce and you and your history together and decide how you feel.”</p>
<p>“I-I guess so.”</p>
<p>He moves his hand to lace their fingers together and gives her a small smile. “Thank you. For everything. I-you’re the most amazing girlfriend I could have ever asked for and I’m happy I’m not alone in this.”</p>
<p>“I wish this had never happened, but since it did, I’m happy you’re with me, there’s no one else I’d rather have at my side.”</p>
<p>They don’t talk anymore after that for a little bit until Jess smirks slightly and says, “So. I seem to have two tickets to the movies for Saturday night and need a devilishly handsome stud to go with me. Think you’ll be up for it?”</p>
<p>He laughs. “I think I can make some time between all of my intense soul searching and moping to come with you.”</p>
<p>She rolls her eyes, “I assume Clay called it moping?”</p>
<p>He laughs, “Of course.”</p>
<p>A shake of her head and then says, “Well I’m glad I make it into your busy schedule.”</p>
<p>He laughs and then they go on talking about life-not the case but normal things. It’s-nice actually. There’s a sadness underlying everything because by Saturday they’ll have probably lost the case but it’ll be over for better or worst and their lives will be changed forever but knowing that they’ll be doing something as normal as going to the movies is comforting in a way, like the outcome of the case doesn’t define them forever. It’s not much, but it might be enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And welcome to  a new chapter, we're getting towards the end but unfortunately this is a pretty painful chapter all around, thanks Bryce. Jess at least is around to make things better, I hope. </p>
<p>Next chapter should be out next Friday and it'll have the last person's testimony and be the penultimate chapter so a lot will be going down.</p>
<p>Hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think in the comments! Also a big thanks to De_la_Cruz87 for her help  beta reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The Polaroids</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The last day of the trial starts with a package arriving early in the morning and only gets stranger after that.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When the doorbell rings, Justin doesn’t expect much, a delivery person or maybe Jess or Zach. He doesn’t expect a package left on the ground sent to him and with no return address. It’s a cardboard box wrapped in tape. After a few tugs at loose ends of the tape he gives up and brings it to the kitchen. Matt and Lainie are already in there, him making dinner and her on the computer. He gets the scissors out of the drawer and opens the package before drawing enough attention to get asked what he’s got.</p>
<p>“I don’t know, it just came in the mail for me.”</p>
<p>Lainie looks suspicious immediately and gets out of her chair to come over. Matt looks on thoughtfully from the counter. Cutting through the layer of tape isn’t easy but once he manages to get enough off, he pries open the flaps and looks down stupidly at the contents.</p>
<p>Pictures. Dozens of them, and a flashdrive sitting on the top. He takes the flashdrive off and reveals the top photo, Bryce standing over a girl on a couch, red solo cup in his hand, naked from the waist down, clearly having sex with her. Her eyes are closed, body limp, even in the stillness of the photo it’s clear she isn’t conscious. He feels sick, almost throws up right there because it’s way too familiar. Lainie’s hand finds his and squeezes. He reaches into the box and pulls out a stack. Not all of them are as graphic as the top, many just show collections of jocks in the same room, often with other people, usually girls but Marcus is in a few as well. His phone rings but he ignores it, too engrossed in flipping through the pile in his hand. Lainie watches over his shoulder and Matt comes up behind him to look.</p>
<p>Collectively they’re struck stupid and it isn’t until Clay comes down that it breaks their trance.</p>
<p>“Jess wants you to answer your phone.” He frowns at them and then asks, “What are all of you looking at?”</p>
<p>Matt passes Clay a short stack while he fishes his phone out. Three missed calls from Jess in less than two minutes and she’s calling again. He answers this time and she’s already talking before he can even say hello.</p>
<p>“Finally. Pick up your phone more often! I got a box of photos in the mail and-”
	</p><p>“They’re the proof we need.” He cuts in.</p>
<p>“How did you know?”</p>
<p>“I got them too.”</p>
<p>“Who sent these and where did they come from?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know but they could be what we need!”</p>
<p>He ends up putting her on speaker phone and they compare notes. It’s obvious that they have copies of originals somewhere and Jess tells them the flashdrive is the same photos in digital form. Whoever sent them wanted as many copies out as possible. While they try to figure out who sent the photos Lainie gets a call and leaves the room, when she comes back she tells them it was Dennis and the police station had them mailed there as well. From the pleased look on her face, Justin thinks this might just be enough to make up for everything that’s happened. It’s enough to make him hope, even a little, that maybe they can still win this case.</p>
<p>That hope lasts until Justin watches as Monty’s sworn in. He can’t help but feel sick to his stomach, he’s been dreading this almost as much taking the stand himself because he and Monty haven’t really spoken much since that day at Rosie’s. He’s tried, here and there mostly before the party, but Monty’s always shut him down and when he’s tried approaching the other boy since everyone found out, Monty’s always pointedly walked away. It hurts, but a lot of things do these days so he’s just added it to the list.</p>
<p>He tries to tell himself that whatever happens here now won’t bother him but that’s hard when all he can see in his mind is them at the park, baseball gear scattered around them, a smile on Monty’s face like he’s never seen. He’s not going to see that smile today, he’s not sure what will happen but he almost doesn’t want to be here.</p>
<p>Bryce’s lawyer stands up and starts the beginning questions: name, age, connection to him and Bryce, all the other stuff he has to ask. </p>
<p>Finally he asks the first real question and Justin’s heart skips a beat.</p>
<p>“Mr. De La Cruz, you’ve been friends with the defendant for several years. Can you describe the nature of that relationship?”</p>
<p>“Sure, being friends with Bryce is all about knowing he has the power and you don’t and if you step out of line, he’s going to get you back. If not right away, then days, or weeks, sometimes even months later.”</p>
<p>The room goes silent until the old man finally manages to follow up.</p>
<p>“Excuse me? Can you clarify what you mean.”</p>
<p>Monty has a sort of amused look before saying, “Bryce has power, he’s rich and his daddy is connected and for a lot of people in Liberty, those are two things they can’t touch. Lucky for us, Bryce is a generous guy and he’ll share what he has, as long as we give him something in exchange. He doesn’t ask for much, just our loyalty without question. If you can give him that, you can get pretty much anything, clothes, sports equipment, a new phone; lots of stuff, all it costs is an understanding, that Bryce owns you now and you’re never getting out.”</p>
<p>The old man is flustered, he doesn’t look over at Bryce as much as he wants to. He just watches Monty.</p>
<p>“I think you were going to talk about Bryce as a team player and-”</p>
<p>“Objection, leading the witness.”</p>
<p> “Sustained.”</p>
<p>“Oh sure, I can talk about that,” Monty as a sort of smile on his face now, wild and hungry, “Bryce is the team and everyone else-”</p>
<p>“No further questions.”</p>
<p>Dennis looks at him and he nods, practically sagging in his chair in relief. The man rises to his feet and approaches the stand, stopping halfway between it and the plaintiff's box.
</p><p>“Mr. De La Cruz, you seem to have a strong opinion of Mr. Walker. Maybe you can tell the court a little more about him. How about we start with how he treats his friends?”</p>
<p>The smirk on Monty’s face is colder than ice and it chills him even though he thinks it’s in his favor.</p>
<p>“Bryce doesn’t have any friends, just people he uses to get what he wants. It’s pretty simple, he buys affection and loyalty by doing nice things but only so he can use it later to get people to do what he wants. All of his friendships are based around him doing small things for people and expecting a lot more from them. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself”</p>
<p>“And how did you come to this conclusion?”</p>
<p>“Pretty easily, he dated a girl at the end of the last school year. She did all the things you think a girl in love would do, she held his hand and said sweet things to him, wanted to spend as much time as she could with him, all that stuff. He did some of that when she was around, reached out to take her hand, said nice things to her, and spent time with her, but when he was with us, the guys, he’d only ever complain about her, how she was stupid, too needy, always wanted too much of his time, stuff like that. She caught on eventually and when she broke up with him, he twisted it. Said he dumped her, then when he was telling me this story, he called her a slut, said she was well used and loose, and mentioned he should have picked better anyway.”</p>
<p>“And how do you know she dumped him and not the other way around as he claims?”</p>
<p>“I was there. It was his backyard, the three of us, along with her friend, Zach Dempsey, and Scott Reed.”</p>
<p>“And can you tell us the identity of this girl?”</p>
<p>“Nina Jones.”</p>
<p>The court is dead silent as they digest that information.</p>
<p>“And how about your relationship with the defendant?”</p>
<p>“I met Bryce when we were freshmen. We were both on the same teams and had a few of the same classes. He was already popular, already collecting people and I wanted to be one of those people. It looked like a good deal, getting in with the cool kids and not getting stuck as some kind of outcast, and the stuff I said earlier was nice too, getting things that I could never afford on my own.”</p>
<p>“And so you did? You became one of his group?”</p>
<p>“Mhm, and for a while it was great. Bryce was fun and he drew in fun people. There were parties and after school hangouts, I met a lot of people through them.”</p>
<p>“But you claim he buys people?”</p>
<p> “He does. My family doesn’t have that much money so getting a season’s worth of free stuff for baseball was amazing, new glove, new cleats, the uniform, Bryce offered to buy it all so I could play. I got my first phone from Bryce too, it was one of his old ones but he reactivated it for me and put me on his family’s plan so I could make it to everything and keep up with team news and friends. I thought it was all for free because Bryce and I were friends, that he was just a generous guy.”</p>
<p>“But it wasn’t?”</p>
<p> “Not at all. He was just building up credit to use later, with me and a bunch of others too. We probably all would have kept thinking that Bryce was an amazing dude except that some guy on the team didn’t want to fall in line. He was a junior and wasn’t about to bow to some freshmen, even if the freshman’s dad was the richest man in the county. Anyway Bryce was angry so he started saying this guy was a cuck, his girlfriend was cheating on him with some loser. Then he encouraged the rest of us to spread it around but when I didn’t do it fast enough for him, he commented that I must not have needed the sports stuff that bad if I had already forgotten about it.”</p>
<p>“And you’re saying this wasn’t a once off incident and others happened like it?”
</p><p>“Yea, when I didn’t do what king Bryce wanted there was always something to remind me about, some debt I hadn’t paid back to him.” </p>
<p>“But you stayed with him. Why?”</p>
<p>“He was a better deal than I could get anywhere else.”</p>
<p>“And in your observations was the relationship between the plaintiff and defendant like this?”</p>
<p>“Mostly. Little different.”</p>
<p>“How so.”</p>
<p>“Justin’s stupid. I think pretty much everyone else caught on to Bryce’s game at some point but not Justin. See he loved Bryce, anytime he got called brother or bro his whole face lit up. Bryce manipulated him like everyone else, but Justin was easier to because Bryce only had to accuse him of something and Justin would assume Bryce was right, he was wrong, and he was a bad friend.”</p>
<p>“And you’ve seen this first hand?”</p>
<p>“Bryce plays by a double standard, one for him, one for everyone else. Last year he was going out with a girl and spending a lot of time with her. Justin didn’t complain, he never complained about Bryce, but it wasn’t hard to figure out he felt neglected. He ucked it up anyway and dealt with it. During this time he was still living with his mom but spending a lot of time with Clay Jensen. Bryce is possessive, especially of things he considers his and Justin falls into that category after years of knowing each other, so he didn’t like this and decided to make sure Justin knew. He invited a bunch of guys over including me and Justin but Justin was late; he came after hanging out with Clay. When he came in Bryce looked over and very deliberately brought up that he was happy Justin made time to come see him, not all of us, him. And like he wanted, Justin felt like a bad friend and tried to do things with Bryce the whole next week except Bryce was once again busy with his girlfriend.”</p>
<p>“And how do you know all of this?”</p>
<p>“I was there when Bryce bragged about spending so much time with his girlfriend. He did it at lunch or in school a lot. I also heard Justin attempt to make plans with Bryce only for him to be too busy all the time. It’s pretty simple, Bryce can do whatever he wants and Justin can only do whatever Bryce wants him to do.”</p>
<p>Dennis pulls one of the photos off his desk and approaches the witness stand, laying it down for Monty to see. At the same time he nods to the bailiff who turns on the projector, shining it on a wall for the court to see. Even though he’s seen it, his stomach still clenches. Bryce, his bare ass facing the camera turned around to look at it with glee, he’s standing over a girl. Monica, last year they shared lit, she was nice even if he doesn’t know her well. Obviously she didn’t deserve to have that happen to her.</p>
<p>“Do you recognize the people in this photo?”</p>
<p>“I know Bryce, the girl goes to school at Liberty but I don’t know her name.”</p>
<p>“And after seeing this do you believe the defendant capable of such actions?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Even against the plaintiff?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“And one final question. Why say all of this now? Earlier you said Bryce had the better deal.”</p>
<p>“He still is.”</p>
<p>“So why do this?”</p>
<p>His heart thumps so loudly he’s surprised Clay doesn’t shush him. Monty looks over at him and says, “Someone gave me a reason to believe I could be more than an attack dog.” 
</p><p>Their eyes lock for just a second and Monty’s soften. He no longer looks like Monty, the bomb waiting to go off. He looks like a kid.</p>
<p>“He did right by me, so I’ll do the same.”</p>
<p>“No further questions.”</p>
<p>Bryce’s lawyer returns with the recross but he can’t get anything done and Monty sits on the stand with a look of feral glee.</p>
<p>Justin doesn't know how he feels, relieved, sad, anxious, vindicated, maybe all and then some more as Monty leaves the stand and heads for the door. The judge invites the defense to call their next witness but he slips off after Monty. He doesn’t know if the case is won but it feels a hell of a lot closer now.</p>
<p>Coach Rick is sworn in just as he leaves the room he doesn’t pay attention. The lobby which is crowded and pushing through the crowds is hard but Monty must have come this way so he follows. He gets out unto the stairs of the courthouse and sees the familiar beat up Jeep parked across the street. Scott sits in the driver seat, and following his eyes, he sees Monty crossing.</p>
<p>He runs, well he jumps down most of the steps and sprints across the street, getting horns blasted at him but they’ll live with the three second interruption. Monty is at the trunk when Justin finally makes it to him, out of breath even though he hasn’t run that far at all.</p>
<p>“Monty.”</p>
<p>It’s simple, maybe too much so but the older boy looks up and replies anyway.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>His mouth is dry. What does he want to say? Thanks for telling the truth? Thanks for not having any kind of filter and actually getting through to the jury? </p>
<p>“Thanks.” It’s not enough even if his voice is a little choked up with emotion.</p>
<p>Monty rolls his eyes. “Don’t be a girl about this Foley, I did what needed to be done.”</p>
<p>“Yea but…” He trails off.</p>
<p>“What Bryce did to you was wrong but if he was willing to do it to you then he could do it to anyone, you’re probably the only person in the whole damn school who ever cared about him for any long amount of time.”</p>
<p>“Still-thank you. I-I didn’t help you so you’d help me back.”</p>
<p>A small smile graces the other boy’s face, sad and tight, for a second and then gone. “No, and that’s why I did this.”</p>
<p>He frowns, “I don’t get it.”</p>
<p>“All my life, almost any time someone has tried to help me, it was so I would help them later. Bryce and most of the other people at school were like that. Scott wasn’t, and over the summer I realized you weren’t either. I spent most of that time waiting for you to ask a favor or to try to collect a debt of some kind but you never did. That conversation we had at Rosie’s-I didn’t really think anyone would ever say that to me and I always assumed I would end up like the old man. You made me think maybe I didn’t have to and I was angry when you said it because I was all ready to be that and hearing someone say I didn’t have to made life seem so much harder because I had a choice again, I was responsible for what I did and what I became and that was fucking terrifying. But by the time I figured out what to do you had started acting weird and that whole day at Bryce’s you were tense and angry. Then fucking Casey told everyone and I decided that I’d do whatever I could to make sure I took this opportunity to get back at Bryce.”</p>
<p>“Even though it hurts you?”</p>
<p>Monty turns to the trunk and pulls a duffle bag forward. He unzips it and takes off his tie saying, “Bryce would have done something to me eventually. I always thought he cared about you, a tiny bit. I was wrong and that means no one was safe.” His fingers fumble taking off the button up, showing a T-shirt underneath and Justin glances into the car. Three duffle bags including the one Monty’s standing over are in there along with baseball bats, gloves, and helmets.</p>
<p>“You’re leaving.”</p>
<p>“After our talk at Rosie’s I found my mom’s sister’s number and called her. She and I talked about me moving in with her after I finished high school but then this happened and we moved the date up.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t know what to say and before he really thinks about it he moves forward and hugs Monty. It’s only after he does that he realizes he’s taking a huge risk because Monty might very well punch him for this.</p>
<p>Instead he feels the other boy stiffen up completely but instead of a punch, the tension dissipates and a pair of arms wrap around him awkwardly. “Take care Justin. You’ve got a chance to make something of yourself and if I hear you’ve messed it up I’ll come back here and beat the shit out of you personally.”</p>
<p>The car horn honks. “Hurry up Monty, your Aunt is expecting us for dinner and I want to make a good impression!”</p>
<p> He lets go and Monty walks around to get into the passenger seat but before closing the door looks at him thoughtfully, “Good bye Justin, and thank you. If things had been different, maybe we could have been friends.”</p>
<p>He fights the tears springing into his eyes, “Bye Monty. I’m sure we could have been best friends. I hope you find what you’re looking for outside of this place.”</p>
<p>An eye roll. “Don’t cry. Go back inside to your family and friends and Jess and forget about me. You’ve got a lot to be happy about.” The feral grin returns to his face as he says, “I’m almost sorry I can’t see that bastard’s face when he loses this case. I hope he goes away and never gets out.”</p>
<p>Monty closes the door and Scott pulls away. He stays and watches the Jeep for as long as he can before it turns off the block and disappears. He isn’t sure how he feels, or maybe he doesn’t know how to process how he feels. He’s happy for Monty, leaving this place he hated so much, but he knows he won’t forget the other boy. There’s a bittersweetness to it. He thinks that very well may be the last time he sees either of them.</p>
<p>He goes back in and rejoins Jess and his parents and brother. The examination is already done and Dennis is on the cross examination now. Apparently Monty started a trend, Coach Rick is tearing Bryce apart while the boy who was his brother for so long sits off to the side looking furious but not able to say anything. He doesn’t feel happy, not exactly, satisfied is probably a better description. Coach Rick is the last witness and once he’s done, they’ll be on to closing statements which means this will all be over soon, no matter the outcome.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And welcome to the penultimate chapter. Here is almost everything coming together, I hope at least. I had a lot of story lines for this fic and tried to bring them all together here with explanation for some of them in the next chapter. Hopefully everything makes sense now or will after that one comes out but if you have any questions feel free to ask. I may tell you to wait if it's something I address next chapter but if not I'll try to answer it and then go and add something in to the finale to address it that isn't there right now lol.</p>
<p>Speaking of the final chapter, it's written and proof read and waiting for next week to go up.</p>
<p>I hope you all enjoy and feel free to leave your thoughts and questions in the comments below, I love reading them.  Also a big shout out to De_la_Cruz87 for all her help beta reading for me!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Equilibrium</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The world moves on but Clay takes a bit to catch up, luckily Justin is there to help out.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the end the jury takes a little over a day to deliberate. Clay waits with his parents, Justin, Jess and her parents, Zach, and Tony as the verdict is read. </p><p>Guilty.</p><p>But only on one count of rape.</p><p>It hurts that they claim based on the evidence they cannot reach a consensus on both counts of rape and from the look on Justin’s face, he also knows which count they’re talking about.</p><p>Bryce is convicted on two lesser charges of sexual assault which they somehow seem to agree happened to Justin but it feels like a hollow victory because it's only half a conviction and doesn’t seem like nearly enough but Mom quietly reminds him that the rape charge carries a minimum sentence of nine years since Jess is a minor. The judge announces he needs time to consider an appropriate sentence.</p><p>Two weeks later they’re back in court for the sentencing. Bryce gets nine years and Clay can’t help but be annoyed that it’s the minimum sentence because Bryce should get over the maximum, Mom reminds him in a quiet voice that this is one charge and with the Polaroids in hand, the police have at least seven more charges pending. The judge cites Bryce’s age as a reason for the minimum. He wonders if money was paid.</p><p>Jess is invited up to speak and glowing with anger and vindication, she moves to the front of the courtroom.</p><p>“I will never forgive you.” Her eyes are fixed on Bryce and she might have read a few <i>Killer Robot</i> editions because she looks like she’s trying to use destructo-ray on him. “And I can’t wait to be here every day that you’re here, being held accountable for all the other girls you did this too. You’re a monster, and everyone is going to know; your name is going into the sex offenders register and will follow you wherever you go if you ever get out of prison after this. I hope whatever pleasure you got from doing that to all those girls, and Justin and myself, was worth it because it’s going to have to keep you company for the rest of your lonely, miserable life. And I hope you know it will be lonely, because no one is going to give a shit about you anymore. You drove away your most devoted friend by hurting him in a way he could have never conceived, but you didn’t break him, or me.” She turns away from addressing him directly to look at Justin for a moment, and casts her eye around the rest of the room. There are a lot of girls from Liberty present, some he remembers from Polaroids, others not so much. “We’re still here and you’re not going to be. Everyone here knows what you are, and we aren't going to forget, are we?” A brief round of jeers and promises not to go up before Jess continues, “And we aren’t going to stop until we’ve nailed you for every girl, or guy, you’ve ever raped. So goodbye Bryce, I’m looking forward to seeing you once your next trail starts.”</p><p>She sits down to applause, lots of it. Justin is invited up.</p><p>“I loved you.” His voice trembles a little and is soft. Everything is directed at Bryce and anyone else hearing it is a coincidence because he has to strain his ears to pick up the words. For a moment he’s worried his brother will start crying in front of everyone. “And I still do. These past few weeks I’ve been thinking over every memory I have with you and there are a lot. I realized while I was doing it that I don’t have to forget all of them and forget you, and that I don’t have to hate all of them either, that I can remember you as my best friend and first brother, as well as the person who hurt me worse than I’ve ever been hurt. I forgive you for what you did to me, and I hope that some day those words will mean as much to you as they do to me. If they ever do, come find me. But until then goodbye, Brother.”</p><p>He returns to his seat, not to the same applause as Jess received but Mom reaches out to take his hand gently and Clay thinks that might be more than enough for Justin.</p><p>School the next day feels-anticlimactic. It’s so painfully mundane, hardly anything is different. Bryce isn’t there, and neither is Monty actually, but he hasn’t been around since he testified and neither has Scott. Everything else is the same. No one seems to acknowledge that everything is different. There’s no applause to him and Justin walking in, no masses cheering for the better, Bryce -free world that Justin and Jess have given them, there aren’t even hateful jeers, unlike what Scott said would happen. Actually Scott isn’t around either that he can tell. Justin, Jeff, Zach, and Luke seem all that’s left of the once untouchable Court of King Bryce.</p><p>He doesn’t know how to feel about it. On one hand some acknowledgement would be nice, but on the other-it’s sort of nice, the return to normalcy. He wonders what else might change, Jess is trying to reorganize HO to be more about outreach to rape victims and less about hating men. Casey isn’t exactly happy about it but she also isn’t being as much a hindrance as he expected. She sort of apologizes to Justin in a way that makes it clear she doesn’t fully trust him or like him and she’s taking a step back to let Jess handle more things but not everything. The jocks seem less sure of themselves as top dogs of the school, and administration has remained largely silent on everything going on.</p><p>It isn’t until he passes Tyler in the hallway that he finally feels the need to do something but it takes until after the last period ends for him to be able to act on it. He enters the darkroom instead going out to meet Tony right away and is unsurprised to find Tyler inside developing photos.</p><p>“Are these the special shots of Monty from the last match?”</p><p>Tyler doesn’t turn around from hanging some but replies with an annoyed tone to his voice, “What do you think?”</p><p>It takes a moment to collect his thoughts and decide what he really thinks. “I think you and Monty had the Polaroids and sent out the copies of them.”</p><p>“And if we did?”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>A snort. “I didn’t do it for you or your thanks, I didn’t do it for Justin or Jessica either.”</p><p>“Then why?”</p><p>The other boy finally turns around and looks him up and down. “I hate Bryce, Monty gave me a way to get rid of him, so I took it, bonus that I got rid of Monty too.”</p><p>“When I saw you-was that the first time he came to you about them?”</p><p>“Yes, and two days later he snuck out of detention with Ms. Elson and met me here where we scanned the Polaroids, printed copies, put digital versions on flash drives, and he mailed them out later that night.”</p><p>He frowned, “He had them for two weeks before that.”</p><p>Tyler raises an eyebrow as if to ask why that matters to him.</p><p>“Why did he wait so long?”</p><p>A shrug, “I don’t know or care but if I had to guess he probably waited until he thought it was safe, Bryce knew they existed, I’m sure he went crazy looking for them whenever Monty stole them originally. He needed to keep them safe so he sat on them until he could smuggle them into the school without Bryce knowing.”</p><p>It makes enough sense, everything comes together after that. Monty planned it all starting from Casey’s announcement. He must have stolen the photos then and then hid them for those two weeks until about when the trail started, then made his move. And it worked. He nailed Bryce so perfectly that his lawyer couldn’t even get him out of it. Coach Rick testified against Bryce as well following Monty and that was the final nail in the coffin for Bryce during the trial, closing statements saw the old man try to stick to the narrative he had been building before Monty but he wasn’t able to deal with Monty’s testimony, only try to paint him as a backstabber who stood to gain from this somehow.</p><p>He thanks Tyler and leaves, texts Tony to leave without him and then sets off for the baseball field. Zach notices him right away and manages to get to him during a break in practice.</p><p>“Monty was there that first day to steal the Polaroids, not Scott, he must have lost his key earlier.”</p><p>Zach nods slowly. “That makes sense. Scott probably got sent to the clubhouse to pick up some of the equipment they needed for the fair even though he wasn’t manning the table and Monty was at the wrestling table because the team captain was out and he was the only other senior member of the team. He heard Casey and Jess and got the photos then.”</p><p>He agrees. That had been the point he was stuck on, how had Monty known in time since he hadn’t realized the other boy was at the fair. Then he continues. “After that he waited until the coast was clear and brought them to Tyler when the case started to get copies made and the night before he testified he sent them out priority mail so everything would be ready for when he testified.”</p><p>Zach looks thoughtful and then replies, “I never thought Monty would be the hero in this story but I’m happy someone was. Without those Polaroids I don’t think we would have won. Did you ever hear why?”</p><p>He doesn’t have anything to say to that because Monty isn’t the hero he would have wanted despite how convincing the other boy was. Anyway Zach gets called back to practice and he’s left to wonder about the other boy’s question. Why did Monty help? Altruism seems unrealistic because it’s Monty, vengeance maybe more likely but vengeance for what? He could ask Justin, if anyone knows it’s him, but maybe he won’t.</p><p>Three weeks later he’s at home, tying off the last bunch of balloons to a chair while Jeff and Zach hang a banner and Mom makes sure it’s centered. Dad is at the grill, chefs hat and apron on. Hannah sets out bowls of snacks, ‘this isn’t rocket science Helmet, it doesn’t matter what snack goes in what bowl’. Tony comes out the back door and announces that they’re here.</p><p>Everyone gathers under the banner, Mom reminding them all to smile, as if she needs to, and a moment later Jess and Justin come out the back door.</p><p>They all yell “surprise” and Justin freezes, his eyes frantically roving over the scene and he almost looks like he’ll burst into tears but he doesn’t instead a huge smile breaks over his face as he reaches out to accept a hug from Zach, who ends up picking him up and swinging him around like a rag doll while both laugh so hard he wonders how they breathe. Hugs and a kiss from Mom and Dad, and then general well wishes from everyone else. Tony waits until greetings are done to start the music.</p><p>It’s nice. Mostly. Dad insists on taking about a hundred photos in every combination possible under the ‘Adoption Day’ banner and at dinner when Lainie hands over the certificates making it official. Justin wears a glowing smile the whole time, he looks happier than Clay’s ever seen him. It’s fitting and he’s happy too because Justin is one of them now, no one can take him away and he’s safe. At the same time he can’t help but feel conflicted, like everything is over now and there isn’t much left to fight for.</p><p>His eyes travel over the clusters of people. Tony at his DJ station with Hannah, Zach and Jeff shooting water bottle caps at each other from across the table, and Justin and Jess with Mom and Dad talking quietly. It’s a strange group of people when he reflects on them. His best friends, one incredibly unhelpful most of the time due to his head space being dominated by girls and sports, the other unhelpful by choice just to be a troll. Hannah, who never in his wildest dreams did he think he would ever actually go out with but after five months she isn’t sick of him yet and he’s even more in love than he thought he could be. Zach, who never thought of as a friend or even a person only a year ago but now it seems so foreign to not have him around, and similarly Jess.</p><p>And Justin, the reason for it all. His brother and friend, eternal pain in his ass and one of the most important people in the world to him.</p><p>“Alright. Us old people are going to go to bed. Be good, be safe. Make sure anything that can blow away is taken care of and we’ll sort out the rest tomorrow.”</p><p>Mom’s announcement pulls him back to reality and she’s looking at him pointedly.</p><p>“Yea sure.”</p><p>A chorus of goodnights sound from his friends and on her way past Mom kisses the top of his head. “Gross Mom, come on I’m too old for this.”</p><p>Justin laughs, “I think Mom disagrees.”</p><p>He tries not to let his jaw hit the ground because it’s the first time he’s heard Justin call her that. She looks surprised too but quickly covers it up and walks towards Justin to do the same to him. His face turns a little pink but his smile widens somehow. </p><p>Dad, finished packing up the last of the food into a cooler, stands up and bids everyone goodnight to which Justin cheerfully offers, “Goodnight Dad.” </p><p>The man almost faints but Mom is there to help bring him inside before he can do anything embarrassing.</p><p>The party goes on, pretty late actually, it’s almost midnight when they start cleaning up but luckily with everyone there it goes pretty fast and then goodbyes are said and re-said several times before he and Justin are alone. </p><p>They head up to bed and as he’s lying down, Clay wonders if he needs to feel disappointed the fight is over. Bryce is done for, he’s going away and not coming out for a long time, Monty’s gone apparently, with Scott, they haven’t been seen since the trial so he doesn't really think they’re planning to come back, and Justin is getting better. He’s still quirky and weird and full of idiosyncrasies he doubts he’ll ever understand and isn’t sure Justin is even aware of sometimes, the younger boy still has nightmares and wakes up panicking and needs to crawl under the covers with him, and sometimes he looks really sad.</p><p>Clay wonders at these times if he’s thinking about Amber, or his father who he never knew, or Bryce but whatever the answer, they don’t hold him long. He’s seeing someone and that helps, and he has them, and nothing is going to change that. Maybe it is okay for the fighting to end, maybe this is it, the end of all the unpleasant business and they can worry about high school and living life. The idea of spending it not working towards a greater purpose seems at the same time both boring and refreshing so maybe-</p><p>The bed shifts as more weight is added to it and a sleepy accusation of, “If you think any louder I’ll hear it,” reaches him.</p><p>He rolls over to see Justin stretched out next to him and the other boy continues. “Whatever your thinking can wait till tomorrow.”</p><p>A grin works its way over his face and he finds Justin’s hand under the blanket to squeeze it. Tomorrow is a new day and maybe the right day to stop thinking in terms of what happened and start thinking about what could happen. He opens his mouth to tell Justin as much but a quiet snore lets him know that he won’t be getting a reply even if he does speak. That’s fine. Sleep sounds like a good idea, it’ll help him be ready for whatever happens and for the first time in a long time, thinking that feels more like a promise than a threat.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And welcome to the last chapter. I just want to take the time to say that you all have been wonderful readers and I hope you've enjoyed this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it. It's been 10 months since I started way back at the beginning of September and for it be finished is kind of shocking but in a good way. If you have any questions, let me know and I can answer them.</p><p>For the first time, I don't have another chapter for next week but I was sort of playing around with an epilogue, a 10 years later sort of thing but not sure if I want to fully commit to it, or leave where everyone ends up to the individual so I'll tell you all what. If you want to see this, let me know in the comments and if I get three people looking for it, I'll try to write it up for next week and if not, the week after.</p><p>This has been a lot of fun, happy reading to everyone and thank you to De_La_Cruz87 for all of her helps and support along the way and congrats to her on finishing her own story!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And welcome to the last part of this series! I wish we could be starting on a happier note but that won't happen for a while. </p><p>Next chapter should be posted next week and Justin will be the narrator for it and the next few, also while I have several chapters finished in advance, I didn't reach my goal of finishing the story so 9 chapters is a guess for how long this will be and may change.</p><p>Happy reading and let me know what you think in the comments below!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>